Just a friend?

[WWYD2020]

I feel like I’m lost and need advice or wwyd?!

DP been together 5 years and one DC, wedding was set for March 2021. We’ve always had a very open and trusting relationship or so I thought.

He has always been sneaky with his phone. I looked once and he’d been messaging 18+ accounts on Snapchat. He happily deleted and said it was stupid, let’s move on (this was about 3 years ago).

This year he has started messaging a girl all the fekkin time. I mean if I glance at his phone when a notification pops up it’s her, he said they were work friends and I believed him. The contact was getting more and more frequent so I couldn’t help myself and looked at his phone. They have been meeting up and he’s been keeping it all a secret.

Apparently to stop me being upset, but, if they were just friends what have I got to be upset about? Is there any coming back from this? I feel like the trust is broken. Is it just friends?

With kindness, they are not just friends.

Absolutely not friends op . Sorry .

If they were just friends it wouldn’t be secret would it?
Tbh I’d have ended this relationship with the first incident of msging other women! Your DP sounds like a creep and you can do so much better

I hate reading stuff like this knowing that what I say is only going to compound the hurt you are already feeling but I feel annoyed on your behalf OP.
They are not friends

Are they soppy/complimentary texts?

It doesn't look likely it's just friendship and concealing the meetings is bad. Does she know about you?

Oh god, tell him to fuck off. This is not a man you'll be happy with. Cancel the wedding and decide where you're going to live - if possible, tell him to get out.

@HollowTalk

Oh god, tell him to fuck off. This is not a man you'll be happy with. Cancel the wedding and decide where you're going to live - if possible, tell him to get out.

Sadly I agree with ^^

It's a rubbish time to do it, but best just to get on with it as it won't be any easier in the New Year.

Been there, done that & it's never. 'just friends' and you (and DC) deserve so much more!! & before you even start thinking it or he starts trying to blame you, it is NOT your fault x

Liars lie. He's shown you that he's a liar. His behaviour shows he's a cheat too so believe your eyes over his words.

Op this behaviour will only escalate if you stay with him

So sorry op, but another vote here for Not Friends. WWID? Dump him. He’s not to be trusted.

Are they soppy/complimentary texts?

No, they were all purely friend related texts. He showed off our DC a lot and she make weird comments about wanting to sniff him (DC).

You don’t need to hide friendships though.

I certainly don’t.
And neither did he until this one, he’s had many friendships over our relationship.

This is the only sneaky one.

Is it that he wants more with her?

I think you’ve all given me the reality check I needed

No, I suppose in one sense it's irrelevant if it's platonic, it's taking up family time and he hid the meets.

They are not just friends. They probably already have more, and if not he does want more otherwise he wouldn't be secretively and incessantly texting her. Sorry, OP, you deserve much better than this

Oh god, tell him to fuck off. This is not a man you'll be happy with. Cancel the wedding and decide where you're going to live - if possible, tell him to get out.

this 🌺