If your LT partner has a (genuine) nightmare ex that he placates at your expense, would you do it again?

PyongyangKipperbang · 2020-10-18T22:47:32+00:00

And why? Did you see the signs and ignore them? Or did you think that the relationship was worth it?

Redwinestillfine · 18/10/2020 23:49

Not sure why you would.... seems like the ultimate disrespect to me.... What do you think op?

CoolYourBeansMySon · 18/10/2020 23:51

Mine did at the start of our relationship and I stuck with it because I thought he was worth it. As time has gone on though he's seen her bs and now has nothing to do with her. We wouldn't have lasted if that hadn't happened though.

Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/10/2020 23:53

What do I think?

I dont know, which is why I asked. But my hunch is that I am on to a loser.

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user1481840227 · 19/10/2020 01:46

Does he have children with his ex?

Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/10/2020 02:36

@user1481840227

Does he have children with his ex?

yep, which means it will always be like this, right?

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cringyminge · 19/10/2020 03:14

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

user1481840227 · 19/10/2020 03:21

yep, which means it will always be like this, right?

Not necessarily, relationships can change.

but you need to give some examples because there have been plenty threads on here in the past with people talking about their partners nightmare exes and so on and they're not really bad at all, it seems that the posters here are sometimes the unreasonable ones!

usaornay · 19/10/2020 03:22

No way. I didn't know until it was too late. There weren't even any kids involved. Forget the ex, the way your dp handles the situation says everything you need to know about them. I would rather be alone than in these type of situations.

Iloveme30 · 19/10/2020 15:00

@CoolYourBeansMySon

Mine did at the start of our relationship and I stuck with it because I thought he was worth it. As time has gone on though he's seen her bs and now has nothing to do with her. We wouldn't have lasted if that hadn't happened though.

Exact same here

RantyAnty · 19/10/2020 15:25

No way.
I can't be bothered with drama.
A relationship is supposed to bring mostly positive to my life. That kind of drama would just drag me down and there's far too many fish in the sea to for.

StoneColdBitch · 19/10/2020 16:43

When I first met my husband, we had all kinds of issues from his ex, and like a PP I stuck it out as I thought he was worth it. Within a couple of years, he had wised up and stopped giving in to her demands, and as a result she completely stopped communicating with him. They do have children together, but they are teens and the contact we do have is directly with them. So I'm glad I stuck at it.

PamDemic · 19/10/2020 19:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doingitaloneandproud · 19/10/2020 19:22

No, my ex wouldn't say no to his ex once, she didn't drive so he'd drive her everywhere, she'd constantly ring, no matter how much I loved him, it got too much. And since we've split I feel so much happier without the constant drain on a relationship

BlueThistles · 19/10/2020 19:25

No 🌺

Newwayofthinking · 19/10/2020 19:32

SOs ex was like this at the beginning. Always texting, saying things like "Oh today was when you proposed, isn't it ironic" "happy anniversary" etc

I told him I wasn't happy and he blocked her on everything except email. She was not happy, but tough.

Ffsffsffsffsffs · 19/10/2020 19:38

I had one like this, the one that took the biscuit was when it jeopardised us moving in together (4 years after they separated). We broke up.

HOWEVER. We got back together, eventually. Kids are older and independent, don't rely on either parent and can look after themselves if we want to slope off for the weekend. Still not living together, but the time apart forced us both to think about what we really wanted, boundaries etc.

Ex is now very low contact, he finally realised what he was risking losing.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 19/10/2020 20:21

My DP has a full-on ex, whose drama is a bigger part of my life than I’d like!

However, now the kids are all teens we don’t have as much to do with her.

Over the years DP has learned to try and keep it at bay (or at least out of earshot for me!) so he doesn’t answer the phone when she rings anymore, and when the DCs phone him, he’ll take it in the other room as she’ll inevitably chirp in!

This week he’s had to deal with threatening texts from her BF and his DCs saying they don’t want to go to her house anymore, which makes things tricky for us, as they’re now with him full time, and mine are with me full time, so trying to get a night to ourselves is a game!

While I don’t blame him entirely for the situation, my life would be a lot less stressful if I’d met someone with a normal ex, or at least one who could manage her share of 50/50!

BillMasen · 21/10/2020 19:57

It’s interesting that every bloke who says they have a nightmare Ex is seen as a massive red flag and assumed to be lying.

It seems it does happen...

safeordangerous · 21/10/2020 20:35

@BillMasen

It’s interesting that every bloke who says they have a nightmare Ex is seen as a massive red flag and assumed to be lying.

It seems it does happen...

How dare you point out the double standards of this forum.....

LemmysAceCard · 21/10/2020 20:51

@BillMasen

It’s interesting that every bloke who says they have a nightmare Ex is seen as a massive red flag and assumed to be lying.

It seems it does happen...

No it’s when a man has a string of ex’s who are all psychos, mad, bitter, deranged etc, etc, that is a major red flag, one shitty ex is just bad luck.

Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/10/2020 22:15

@Doingitaloneandproud

No, my ex wouldn't say no to his ex once, she didn't drive so he'd drive her everywhere, she'd constantly ring, no matter how much I loved him, it got too much. And since we've split I feel so much happier without the constant drain on a relationship

Sounds like the same bloody ex!

And it would always be "But I am doing it for the kids" when in fact, I have been thinking, and actually I think he is doing it for him.

He has the perfect set up. EOW he is free and gets to rock the Casbah with me, he sees the kids EOW at his and goes to see them 4 weekdays every week at hers, and plays happy families "for the kids". The rest of the time he answers to nobody. Why would he change things?

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Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/10/2020 22:17

@Newwayofthinking

SOs ex was like this at the beginning. Always texting, saying things like "Oh today was when you proposed, isn't it ironic" "happy anniversary" etc

I told him I wasn't happy and he blocked her on everything except email. She was not happy, but tough.

Yeah she does this too, and keeps referring to him as "My Husband" even though they have been seperated for 18 months (no I wasnt the OW!). She never did this before I have been told.

But he wouldnt block her, I know he wouldnt.

She grew up as a spoiled princess and I think he has always just given in to what she wants to keep her happy and the thought of kicking back is something he cant do.

I should buy him a "Grow your own Spine" kit for his birthday........ if I was going to be with him then....

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Original poster

PyongyangKipperbang · 21/10/2020 22:19

FYI, he speaks mostly positively about his exes, no other nut jobs. The odd "OMG I wish I hadnt gone there" but nothing like this. Same as me. He isnt one of those who's every single ex is a psycho bitch queen from hell.

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