Depressing relationship prospects

[Maxine3477]

Ok so I've recently turned 40 and I'm a single mum.. working part time and living in a small village without much going on socially or activity-wise. My child is 5 and we spend most of my free time together. By the evenings or weekends I'm so mentally and physically exhausted that its' hard to even be bother with much else. A few well-meaning friends have been urging me to "get back out there" (in other words start looking for the illusive Mr Right). I know they mean well but it's really getting me down. The kind of men who have show interest in me in recent years since I became single depress me tbh... Nobody seems to have that "wow factor" or seems that they would enrich my life in any way.... I have a good career, my own house, money in the bank and lots of friends but I'm just really unlucky with the kind of men who I attract. I'm not a believer in just being with someone to avoid being lonely or because I've not had a better offer. I'm just really picky....As I'm self sufficient and independent, I don't "need" a man in my life but at the same time it would be nice to meet someone who fits the bill.. Anyone else feel like this?

^^I’m just really picky....As I'm self sufficient and independent, I don't "need" a man in my life but at the same time it would be nice to meet someone who fits the bill.. Anyone else feel like this?

Probably lots and lots of people but its liek ships passing in the night - they won’t be on OLD as why would they put themselves through that shit it just to find something they don't need.

They dont go out looking because why waste your time and so you’ll only meet them if you happen to be in the right place at the right time and click

I think it would be great if there was a dating site for those who dont need a relationship/fwb/fb but would like one on the right terms. You'd have to take a test if showed you were an emotionally/sexually needy fucker you’d be banned.

You've described yourself as self sufficient and independent and that's positive but men are also looking for physical attraction, kindness, spark, good personality, easy to talk to...

What type of man you are looking for and is available and realistic? If your ideal man turned up tomorrow, would he be interested in you? You have to be the same standard as your expectations.

You haven't said anything about the type of man you want except the "wow" factor. Nor why the men who are interested are so disappointing to you.

I agree with you that you don't need a man unless he adds positively to your life but if you want a suitable one, you need self awareness and you need to know what you're looking for.

There's nothing wrong with where you are? It's not depressing at all. You have firm standards and boundaries when it comes to dating and that is a very good thing.

If you don't really need/want a relationship you don't need to seek one; if you do then you will need to put yourself out there more in a general sense, i.e open body language, smiling, going to events where there is a chance of meeting new people, but you don't have to trawl through OLD sites if it only brings you down. Keep working on enriching yourself and building a happy life and you will attract the right type of guys

I'm not a believer in just being with someone to avoid being lonely or because I've not had a better offer

Forgot to add, this is a very healthy and important philosophy to have. I think the dread-fear of being female and single is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships with men who disrespect and/or abuse them