Please tell me EVERYTHING you know about parental alienation, and how to avoid it!

[Marchmarch]

My STBXH has moved out and has for ages spoken to me disrespectfully in front of the kids and tried to get them to do the same and take sides. I am terrified of parental alienation, especially concerning one of the children who he much more keen to see than the others.

We are divorcing, but please telL me what I need to do to keep them safe? He’s a manipulative twat. Kids are all junior age.

My solicitor told him only to speak to them when I’m present, on speakerphone but he’s ignoring that, and calling/FaceTime when I’m not there.

He has been verbally abusive to me in front of them, and drinks too much. What do I do?

I'm sure you've asked this many times before?

Not me.

@Marchmarch

My STBXH has moved out and has for ages spoken to me disrespectfully in front of the kids and tried to get them to do the same and take sides. I am terrified of parental alienation, especially concerning one of the children who he much more keen to see than the others.

We are divorcing, but please telL me what I need to do to keep them safe? He’s a manipulative twat. Kids are all junior age.

My solicitor told him only to speak to them when I’m present, on speakerphone but he’s ignoring that, and calling/FaceTime when I’m not there.

He has been verbally abusive to me in front of them, and drinks too much. What do I do?

If they're all junior school age then how can he be calling or Facetiming when you are not there? Sounds like first step is to not give them unrestricted/unmonitored access to their phones. You look after their devices when they are not in use. Then he has no choice but to ring them in your presence.

How is he calling or FaceTiming junior school age children when you're not there? I'd have thought stopping that would be the easiest thing to do.

I’ve done that today, but am concerned that he might argue that it’s me that is blocking contact.

He also only wants one of the kids to stay with him, the one he says he’s closest to. I’m not happy with that, or the message it sends to any of them. What do I do, formally, to pull him into line?

Are they 11 or under? They shouldn't have unsupervised phone time if so.

They were talking to him over Alexa, meaning there’s only about 3 people they can drop in on. I’ve blocked all that now. Eldest has a phone, and I’ve amended the settings on that too. They were set so they could only call me, husband or Grandma.