Went for 2 nights outside of the city for a small get away (before the rules have changed). This was our first (and probably the last) holiday together. Nice atmosphere, nice place to stay and beautiful scenery. I was happy, he seemed happy.
As don’t live together and not possible to meet regularly, (plus he had non-COVID health issues that made him stay indoors) the last time we were intimate was June. So becoming intimate this time was great but painful at the same time. I get dry more often and having sex 4 times a day was a lot and painful. The day we had to leave, the check out was at midday. He said we will get cosy in the morning again, the night before, and in the morning I started to dread and worried about being in pain again. We went for breakfast during which I have asked if he wants to have the part of the breakfast that made him uncomfortable the day before. His reply was “it is soy milk” meaning not diary. When we came back to the room I have said why did he talk that way and that he shouldn’t be taking his frustration on me. In any given moment I would brush this off, I don’t know why I mentioned it. He got more annoyed. After 15 min, I went outside for a walk, after 5 min I called him and asked to come out as the weather was nice, but was crying my eyes out. I couldn’t stop. When came back from walk I didn’t want to engage with him, he was trying to become intimate. Then said “I always reject him” Not true, I enjoy intimacy with him and care deeply.
We went back, he was driving and on the car he started to question again my behaviour, and I burst in to tears again. I asked him to drop me on the pavement and that I will return myself. He obviously drove to the destination, but I barely spoke. Half of the way I was in tears.
I don’t know what pushed me to crying the last day of holidays. But no contact anymore.
I don’t know what is it...