Miss violent husband

[Lounew]

Hi I am new to mumsnet but am having a real difficult time I separated from my husband 6 months ago after years of on off violence he would hit out when angry inbetween we had a good marriage he was texting other women behind my back insisted just friends when I asked him to stop he became angry and assaulted me I had to stop this and reported to the police .I know this wasn't health but I really miss him and don't know if I can move on we were together for so long .advice welcome .

This is a natural reaction but a dangerous one! I went through a similar stage and sometimes feel it now. You know deep down he won't change and that the violence will escalate. The longer you stay the harder it is to leave so please don't go back x

This is the voice of traumatic bonding and habituation that you're hearing.

You didn't have a good marriage in between the cheating and violence, you had an illusion of one.

It must be difficult and lonely at the moment, especially with Covid etc. But you need to focus on rebuilding yourself. Have you done any therapy or the Freedom Programme following the end of the abusive relationship?