Am I ready?? (I think I know the answer, but help me anyway)

[Gilmoregoals]

Ok so I don't really have anyone to ask about this in real life so be kind. I have good friends, but these aren't really the type of conversations I have with them!

Husband walked out of marriage at Xmas time to be with ow (I had no inkling) we have 2 small kids.
I am divorcing him and doing pretty well considering.
I am aware lately that I am feeling a bit lonely and have started wondering about getting back out there, maybe doing a bit of dating. I have some good friends and hobbies, but just feel like something is missing.

On a whim I signed up to a dating app last night, I swiped on a couple of people, and one has matched. I am scared to even send a msg though. I genuinely don't know if I am ready and don't want to mess anyone about. My self esteem is currently un-tested too, it obviously took a battering, so I don't know how I will manage on that side (on the plus side it may give it a boost ...)

So reading that back it sounds like I am not really ready but how do you know when you are?!

I say go for it.... you might be ready, you might not... but the only way you will find out is to take the plunge and give it a go. Messaging someone on OLD is a safe way to test the waters.

It's difficult because I want to say, yes, have some dates, realise your worth, dress yourself up, see how much bigger the world is than that loser.

But in my experience online dating is full of creeps, players and married men. You need cast iron self esteem to withstand that onslaught.

So I don't know. Sorry.

It's a tough one isn't it?

I'm 4 years since splitting with my EXH after a very long marriage. Older kids.

I'm not sure I'm ready yet - or ever will be.

I did dabble in OLD during Covid but couldn't meet anyone but TBH I really wasn't feeling it. I actually found the messaging dull and boring and I really couldn't be bothered with it all. I'm incredibly busy with work right now and don't think I have time for anyone anyway.

If I'm being honest I'd only want someone for meals out, drinks, holidays. Not interested in moving in with anyone or anything.

I did meet one man for a park walk after lockdown and it was obvious on meeting face to face that there was something he'd failed to tell me that was quite important and I just felt a bit let down and deflated and it put me off.

I guess that's no help to you at all OP. 😩

Just chat away OP. Ask advice on here as you go along. We will be able to tell you if you've got a user, a loser, a predator, etc! Sorry to be so blunt. I did online dating for years, so, I'm a bit of an expert X

What have you got to lose? Try it and you can duck out at any time.

That said depending on your lockdown rating it may be pretty challenging...

Thanks so far everyone, you are actually giving me a bit of confidence. Maybe I will say hi.
I have noticed there are a lot of men with hipster beards and tattoos...that is clearly a thing now?!

Go for it OP but please bear in mind that the diamonds on OLD lay within a sea of thorns.

Don't take it personally if you find yourself ghosted, or go through periods without matches, or any of the other downsides to OLD. It's nothing to do with you, it's just the nature of the beast, and you don't need a guy that's rude / self-absorbed / only after one thing anyway. The good ones don't act like that but they can be few and far between.

Good luck x