Stalked by ex partner

[Whatsmyname88]

NC for this as worried about being outed.
I think I'm being stalked by my ex partner.. Last night after putting DD to bed.. I went downstairs to straighten up the house, in the living room I looked out the window and noticed a car outside my house and a man sitting in the car filming my house.. His phone pointed directly at my house.. When he saw me at the window he stopped and started up his car and drove off... It sent my blood cold and I was frozen with fear because my ex partner doesn't know where I live. He drove off at speed so didn't get his registration number. It didn't look like my ex but my ex has got form for getting friends to stalk exes and not doing the actual dirty work himself.. I'm really scared. I called the police and I already have a police marker on my house if I call 999. Because I failed to get the registration number there's not much they can do.
I can't really deal with being stalked... I fled a horrifically violent relationship and relocated completely with my DD.. Im scared he's hired a PI or is getting a friend to stalk me.. It was so blatant which is why I'm having a hard time processing it.. My ex has a restraining order because the violence was so horrific.. He cannot physically come near me but he has got previous for breaking a restraining order so I don't think that would stop him
. The last incident that occurred between us he put his hands so tightly over my throat I passed out because I couldn't breathe.. I believe he's capable of killing. I don't feel safe in my lovely home at the moment.
Has anyone ever been stalked by an ex and how did you deal with it.

Cctv up . Record any suspicious cars parked outside..

I'm going to get a ring doorbell also..

Make notes of everything
Call the police to arrange a report

Be extra careful, keep doors locked, be aware of your surroundings when you leave the house. Keep a record of anything strange. Contact the police so they are aware of the situation. I hope you and DD are ok

Have you got friends/relatives that either you can go stay with or can come and stay with you?

If you can afford to, get CCTV installed and an alarm system.
If you're not able to, if you see any suspicious behaviour outside, try and record it on your phone so you have evidence. But never put yourself in danger to get that footage.

Get a small panic alarm, a little keyring sized one. Keep it with you at all times.

Speak to your neighbours. You don't have to be 100% honest, you could just say you've seen someone watching/recording houses on your street. Hopefully the whole street will become more vigilant and call the police if they see anything suspicious.

If you have to call the police.. always give your address first so police know where to come to and can start making their way whilst you continue talking to the operator, telling then what is going on.

Get light timers. They will turn your lights on and off whilst you are out to make it look like someone is home.

CCTV and share your location with someone on your phone.

Also, change all your passwords for everything and make sure you kick off any other devices.

Another thing that might help is to get a new coat and hat. So he won't know it's you if you are walking around.

And yes, I've been stalked a long time ago. It took for his model of car to be out of date before I would panic every time I saw one of that colour. But it did die off.

Also, another thing is make your Instagram if you have one private and lock down your FB. You can do that on the security menus.

keep the doors and windows locked.
Get the hollie guard app so you can silently alert someone if you need to.
Get a rape alarm to carry in your pocket.
Write down everything and report it to the police, ask for a stalking protection order each and everytime you do, make sure you have the name and number of every officer you deal with. If it gets to it and the say they are giving him a caution, do not accept it, take it as high as you can, once a caution has been accepted the things he have done before that are considered delt with.
Email the stalikng protection helpline.

@kimlo I had two officers from the specialist DV unit at my county's police station and I downloaded the Hollie app... Also have a panic alarm and a spare phone upstairs in the bathroom as it's a lockable room.. Have a safety plan with the neighbours too. Just puts the fear of God in me. He's followed me in his car behind my car before when I've stayed at friends and relatives and he guessed where I was. He's got offences of harassment and stalking on his record. Just worry the lengths he will go to.. He has put in an application into the court to see DD as he's currently not allowed. He makes my blood run absolutely cold.

You should be luckier since he already has recorded bad character. I understand how you are feeling, it takes over everything. I was lucky, I had dh, and it still took strength.

I don't have great experiences with the police, the cps, the police complaints commisioner or my local mp. The last officer I ended up with was brilliant and tried her best but the rest of them not so much.

Just make a fuss, tell everybody, tell work, tell friends, tell the school, tell the people you come in to contact with. I tried to keep it a secret and brush it off, but everybody needs to know to be on the look out.

He's stalked all of his ex partners I believe. He's unhinged. I know he wouldn't come here himself but just frightened people could be watching us and I don't even know.

If I was you I would be assembling an arsenal of potential weapons. You can youtube a DIY legal pepper spray, your allowed to have a bat in your car with a few tennis balls. There's also some pretty powerful air/bb guns that will deliver a suitable deterrent. Sometimes you have to be ond step ahead of the game.

@Raidblunner I did think about pepper spray actually. It scares me sick to my stomach this violent psychopath may get contact if the Courts allow it 😔.. We're basically in hiding because he's so violent.. He was violent to his daughter and emotionally abused her also.

Paladin might be able to advise and support you paladinservice.co.uk/

I would also get some window and door jammers fitted, very effective and cheap to fit.