Adult Sons on drugs

[Maxi54]

My husband and I have 2 sons in 20s. They live in a flat which we fund. One suffers from anxiety, both smoke cannabis, pay nothing towards bills or mortgage. Ask for money constantly. I know we are stupid, but hoe do we cut ties. We want to sell flat and have nothing more to do with them.

“It does seem odd to finance two quite young men in a property away from the family home and then decide to cut them out. It's obviously a situation that cannot go on forever - and they will give up weed smoking, they just do - but to make them homeless is a bit extreme.”

It is extreme. OP is acting like there’s no middle ground between supporting them entirely and having nothing to do with them. Unless there is a huge back story beyond having cosseted the children too much (which I’m probably guilty of myself), what OP is suggesting is a really shitty thing for a parent to do. It suggests to me that there is very serious dysfunction in this family where material things have been offered in place of emotional love and support.

Sorry if I’m way off-beam here, OP, but you seem to have no sense of how unnatural what you’re proposing is. There’s another poster who periodically pops up expressing frustration and annoyance that her adult daughter demands emotional support when she (the mother) would rather go curtain-shopping. There’s just a strange level of emotional detachment.

She probably didn’t want them smoking weed in her house and garden.
Understandable.

There’s another poster who periodically pops up expressing frustration and annoyance that her adult daughter demands emotional support when she (the mother) would rather go curtain-shopping
Sounds like my mother

I've given this some thought and I (& husband) supported our adult son in his 20s. He lived in a flat which he shared, often couldn't pay the rent and didn't have enough for food, etc. It took him a while to get his career going and he had some problems, was easily taken advantage of; however it didn't go on forever, he's fine now and well established (or was until lockdown but that's another story). It was worth it. He used to smoke dope too.

I realise that isn't the same as paying for everything indefinitely but no way would we have seen him destitute and homeless. There must be more to it than we know and in the case of the op, it is two sons she is solely supporting.