Malicious call to ss

[Givemeabreak88]

Has anyone ever had a malicious call made about them to social services by a family member? This happened to me 3 years ago but it’s only came to light recently who done it (of course the person denied it the whole time) but it’s really affected me and who I can trust and I just can’t understand why someone would do it to their own family. It was full of lies which I could prove and the case was closed but I still can’t get over it. Has this happened to anyone else and how did you move on?

Was it done for the right reasons? Did they think you needed dome support

I think the fact that the OP uses the word malicious tells you you that it was not done with the best on intentions 🙄

Yeah i've had it done to me and so has my friend. Both by our ex husbands . What annoys me is not that my ex did this, but that SS take these things seriously and come out and see us.

How did you find out who did it to you?

Ex husband did it to me too. Easily disproved but SS were determined to force on with the issue. Even when proved they could not accept their error of judgement.
I wont ever forgive or forget his conduct nor will I forget any of the persons involved in the situation.

No sadly not baileys6904 as it was full of lies, they wouldn’t have put lies in it and tbh I would expect a family member to speak to me first rather than just report me if they had genuine concerns, Also they put some really odd things in it like I don’t answer the door if people knock

I found out as she admitted it recently. So many things were pointing to her as she kept saying and doing odd things that it actually became quite clear.

My sister was victim to this through her ex and his then gf, all out of pure spite. When they got nowhere with SS they then used the Police, then the same back to SS. This went on for month until SS took the ex to court for coercive control and emotional abuse, a Non Mol was given against him, and his gf was given 2 Police cautions. It caused a massive amount of stress and anxiety for my sister, so much so she moved away up North to start again. I think everyone would agree reporting genuine concerns is an absolute must, but the amount of time wasting that went on in my sisters case takes valuable time from Social Workers who are trying to protect those children who do need it.

Wow sorry to hear this has happened to others as well, it’s usually the ex and that’s who I thought it was initially (till I asked for a copy of the referral) then it immediately became clear it wasn’t him as there was things in there he didn’t know. The social worker did take it absolutely seriously and it hung over me for a long time as they contacted school/drs even dentist due to what was in the referral

My bitch sister made a malicious report about me after an argument (nothing to do with my parenting!) and I have never spoken to her since. I'm glad I knew who it was immediately, that's so crap that you've only just found out!

But you don't owe that person anything, and it sounds like they are unstable to make up a bunch of lies. My sister also put loads of weird details in and just showed herself to be off the rails herself.

The only peace I've found was from cutting her out. Sorry if that's not an option for you

Bbub Thank you for sharing, it was also my sister, so I’m shocked to hear it happened to you as well as reporting your own sibling is just something you don’t do! The referral was very bizarre like yours, things like my daughter can’t speak (she was non verbal and has autism!!) it was just horrible tbh it was really scraping the barrel to find something to report, really petty stuff. I mean saying I don’t open the door when people knock how is that even an ss concern? And it wasn’t true anyway as the social worker saw when I opened my door to her as the visit was unannounced. She tried to blame it on my brothers girlfriend and for a long time I believed her which caused a rift in the family and a lot of people fell out, I never really trusted her if I’m honest I think part of me just didn’t want to believe she would do that to me? But like I said so many little things she did over the years made it clear. We was at a mutual friends party and there was a woman there I had never met but she had, she asked her what she did for work and the woman told her she was a social worker, well in front of everyone she loudly said “omg she hates social workers!” Referring to me, I was so shocked! (I don’t hate social workers and I don’t know why she did that, obviously I was upset by what happened but that doesn’t mean I hate all social workers! It was so odd and that’s when I started getting even more suspicious) I believe she knew what she did for work but just wanted to make a scene. She told everyone the story, literally everyone, about me being reported, at first I thought that meant it wasn’t her as normally if you’ve done something bad you don’t really want to speak about it again but I actually now think she enjoyed talking about it, like she got some kind of pleasure out of telling everyone.

It is really shocking that a close relative would do it isn't it. And I can't believe your sister brought it up to other people and said that about you hating social workers! What an utter (unhinged) bitch!

The thing about putting stuff in the referral that is technically true but totally misleading rings was the same for me, like what was said about your non verbal daughter. There were things in the referral that were true, or one off occasions that sounded bad but were actually just totally malicious.

We'll done for dealing with the SS visit unannounced! I think I would have had a breakdown! Instead I got a call and burst into tears in the middle of the supermarket. I hate her to this day for what she did. Also 3 years ago for me.

SS are busy with a lot of malicious reports it seems.

Bbub it’s really helpful to hear from someone that this happened to as well, I feel so alone in it. The unannounced visit was awful as I opened the door in only my dressing gown as I wasn’t expecting anyone and assumed it was just the post man! She asked to come in and I felt so vulnerable, they really are suppose to contact you before coming unless the children are in immediate danger which wasn’t the case, they claimed the reason they came unannounced was because they hadn’t been given my address (I had just moved shortly before the report) so had been going to my old and address and writing letters to that address for some time before they could trace me and they eventually got my address when my daughter started at school. She even mentioned the fact I have a phobia of the dentist (I do! And only people very close to me know that) which is why they even had to contact my dentist. The dentist confirmed that my children are all up to date with their checks. She did all of this when I was
Pregnant as I was pregnant with my youngest at the time.
Part of me wonders if that’s the reason as she’s always made it very clear she disapproves of me having 4 children but I’ve always kind of brushed her comments off. Did your sister admit to it or did she deny it?

OP what your sister did is truly unforgivable - what have you said to her about it all?

Having referrals made to children’s services about you can be very traumatic for a lot of people, if you are finding it hard to move on from this please consider speaking to a counsellor as many will have experience of hearing about and helping with situations like this.

I think you need to distance yourself away from her as much as possible as she obviously has no respect for you whatsoever and is incredibly malicious.

SS are busy with a lot of malicious reports it seems.

So true. It seems they need to update their training urgently.

If a man was married for 10 years and his wife was not abusive to the kids it's pretty fucking obvious to anyone that when the wife divorces the twat, and he reports her for abuse that it's malicious. How come she wasn't abusive all the time they were married then? I loathe SS for colluding with this nonsense.

Hi OP, I never even confronted her about it as I knew 1000% it was her from what she'd said in the referral, and I don't know if she ever tried to contact me as I cut her off completely from that day.

Have you confronted your sister?

It's such a hard thing to talk about as I bet people always feel there's no smoke without fire with these things and that we were doing some things wrong to get this referral, or that maybe the person was just doing it out of genuine concern. I'm so ashamed it happened, but I did nothing wrong (not saying I'm perfect obv).

As lots of these examples show sometimes you just KNOW it was done maliciously and when you realise where it came from other things start to fall in place that confirm that it's THEIR issue, not anything we've done. But it's absolutely devastating to be betrayed so badly..