Dating when you can't have children/don't want children

[WhatzTheCraic]

I'm single in my mid 30s and due to a chronic pain condition, I'm not sure I will ever be able to come off my medication to allow me to have children. With the medication, I have a pretty good quality of life though and it would be great to find a partner to share it with. Tbh, reading many of the posts on here, I'm actually not sure whether, given the choice, I would want children anymore anyway!

If you can't have children/don't want children, how's your experience been with online dating? Do you mention this on your profile or do you mention it soon into the dating process? Makes sense to mention it soon on I think, otherwise you're both wasting time. Are there lots of guys out there who would be happy to date someone who doesn't see children in their future?

@DaisyandRibbons Thanks for the reassurance. ✌️

You will get no problems at all with that on your profile. There are lots of men (i would say nearly half) who don't want or aren't fussed about children. By actively saying you don't want them means they don't have to have that worry that they may be expected to partake in children raising with you.

I think bumble let's you say if you want kids or whatever on your page.

I usually put 'I dont want kids'. But the thing is, it may be taken by those who are just looking for a fling as you saying you dont want anything serious. I'm fine with that atm as I'm kinda open to consider whatever may come my way, provided they are good people and good experiences. But if I flat out just wanted a relationship, I might put 'undecided'.

It's hard to know what's best.

Its hard

Haha its si hard I had to say it twice apparently lol.

A significant amount of men don't want kids.
Or don't want any more.

They love the bit where they're making kids of course but that's about it.

I’m mid 30s and can’t have children due to childhood cancer treatment. I’ve online dated on and off for about 7 years with a 3 yr and a 1 yr relationship mixed into that.

Contrary to others I’ve struggled a bit to find men who don’t want children. I’ve found that at this age they all seem to want it as a possibility even if not as an imminent likelihood.

The two relationships I’ve had have been with divorced men with children which is fine and I loved the son of the 3yr relationship (never felt ready to meet the other man’s daughter - obviously wasn’t meant to be), but probably not what I’d seek out.

I just don’t mention it on my profile because I find I only attract much older men otherwise, but I never swipe for someone that says ‘want children’ (which seems to be all the handsome ones!) and wait for what feels like the right moment to ask in the messaging or dating process. There’s always an opportunity sooner or later I find. I’ve only had two point blank differences of opinion in about 12 dates over the years.

It adds another tricky element to dating but equally at least I have a definitive stance on it because it’s an impossibility for me

I was clear about it on my profile and had no problem finding dates amongst the men who didn't want kids or had them already and didn't want more. It was good to put it on the profile as it screened out the men desperate for children.