Tinder Q: world's most pathetic question, I apologise in advance....

[ZubinB]

So, a guy I have been chatting to for a couple of weeks suggested we meet for a drink to which I said yes; however, a week later and texts between us, he hasn't mentioned it again or attempted to arrange it. I told you it was pathetic. Question is, shall I gee him up a little and just ask him when we're meeting, or wait for him to suggest again? I don't want to force him if he's not interested! We're both in our 40's.
I would understand if I got no response at all to this question...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4049592-Dating-Thread-195-Level-Dean-home-of-serious-women-who-actually-talk

OP you need to look at this thread. It's brilliant

Why not be honest: say you want to meet for a drink, and if he feels the same way to get in touch. Then leave it.

My experience is if men want to see you they will arrange it fairly quickly. The ones I've chatted with that haven't been keen to meet have always fizzled out. There's no harm in asking him though, if you really like him you haven't lost anything by suggesting it.

This is very very accurate! Sod it, I've just messaged him and asked if he wants to or not. With this lockdown looming I could do with something to look forward to, and also, it's best just to know where you stand with these things. I'm such a massive over-thinker, which does not bode well with OLD. x

Never chase men.

If they're interested, they'll set it up.

What did he say OP?
If he doesn't respond, block and move on. If he say's yes but doesn't pin down a time/date, block and move on. The point of OLD is to actually meet up, messaging back and forth for longer than a week is a waste of time IMO. Good luck.

If he doesnt reply or is odd about it, just dont worry but dont invest any energy in him. Ive been known to over invest in the past and it never pays off. Ever.

He said he 'would like that' and asked for some dates, and we've arranged for 2 weeks time! I'm trying not to over-invest - I feel that genetically (some) women just can't help doing that! Myself included. The texting is so boring. Thanks all

Why another two weeks? That doesn’t exactly smack of keenness on either side, and as you say it’s difficult to keep up messaging a total stranger fir that long.

My mantra when OLD was ‘one week to meet’.

2 weeks! I met someone, went quite well, but due to work and child comments, or so I thought, it would be nearly 2 weeks before could meet a second time. He knew I had a free weekend off work, and he said he'd be child free, shared 1or 2 texts / day in between - so not much in the way of chat and banter, my interest wained. As the weekend approached,and no suggestion of when to meet. I just said craic on with others as my area became high covid risk, so no point. It was partly a handy excuse, I just felt it had become like pulling teeth. Somehow I doubt you will be meeting after 2 weeks up.

You could be in lockdown by then.

I can see red flags when someone suggests a date a long time in the future, because they are generally players that have no intention of meeting but want to keep stringing you along for as long as they can. Often they’re married or in relationships, sometimes they’re catfish and nothing like the person they claim to be. If someone is interested, you want to meet and see if things work in real life. No point playing pen pals or as you said, getting overly invested in something that wouldn’t work in real life.

I’d say you’ve seen the news and this may be a non-starter in two weeks so does he fancy throwing caution to the wind and meeting even briefly this week/weekend?

another 2 weeks just sounds like he's dragging it out. He's probably not single and just stringing you along, enjoying the attention.

I can only do weekends; it's his kids birthday this weekend, then next weekend I am away, so we agreed on the following weekend... Yeah lockdown will probably spoil it all anyway...

What about FaceTiming then and ideally of an evening so you can see he is who he says he is. Generally evenings are a no-go if they’ve got a partner. You could do this a few times before you meet. If he’s not keen, you can move on.

If you're getting bored with texts, maybe a combo of not much effort, not enough in common and no sense of humour is the issue while you wait.
Lol, the guy I met said he was a sapiophile, not intimidated as I can hold my own and pretty well educated but down to earth. I used to go for intelligent men, until I realized a lot of them are emotionally stunted so average is fine. Anyway, he looked ok in person, didn't get any chemistry vibe, until he asked if I read, I said yea, usually have a book on the go. Que a double take look of attraction - oh please, I thought, are you so out of touch with normal people that you think reading regularly is a particular turn on - my last ex is a binman, not academic at all but always reads a book ( though dyslexic and frequently does spelling errors to hillarious effect, never any punctuation). I kind of think he'd maybe be too much hard work, but that's because he gave me too long to analyze the subtleties of what he said when we met rather than going with the flow as I usually do. If you do meet, then have another long gap, you will get too long to think of the possible negatives from when you last met.

👆what?

Could you do a lunchtime coffee? Two weeks seems like a long wait if you’re both keen. It’s his DCs birthday on one of the days, what about the other one? If he has his DCs all weekend and you can only do weekends does that mean you’ll only ever be able to meet up once a fortnight? Is that enough?

good points. I guess see if initial meet happens, then go from there. I don't want anything full on to begin with, so happy to see where things go - as long as I am not wasting time with a bullshi**er!

@Opentooffers

If you're getting bored with texts, maybe a combo of not much effort, not enough in common and no sense of humour is the issue while you wait. Lol, the guy I met said he was a sapiophile, not intimidated as I can hold my own and pretty well educated but down to earth. I used to go for intelligent men, until I realized a lot of them are emotionally stunted so average is fine. Anyway, he looked ok in person, didn't get any chemistry vibe, until he asked if I read, I said yea, usually have a book on the go. Que a double take look of attraction - oh please, I thought, are you so out of touch with normal people that you think reading regularly is a particular turn on - my last ex is a binman, not academic at all but always reads a book ( though dyslexic and frequently does spelling errors to hillarious effect, never any punctuation). I kind of think he'd maybe be too much hard work, but that's because he gave me too long to analyze the subtleties of what he said when we met rather than going with the flow as I usually do. If you do meet, then have another long gap, you will get too long to think of the possible negatives from when you last met.

Have I missed something