Loss of libido

[jesper1]

Hoping that someone may have some advice
So I am 40 and over the last couple of years have had a noticeable loss of labido
I suspect that this may down to my mirena coil and I have a telephone appointment on next week to discuss removal and this issue in general. I don't want to feel line this and am concerned

My biggest issue is my DH. I love the bones of this man but am struggling with how he is coping with this situation. We have discussed it and I have asked him to back off whilst I explore this at the doctors. I thought that woukd be ok.

To be fair to him he has a bit but he is still making it clear he wants sex and I feel really under pressure. I think to some extent the pressure is coming from me as i feel like i am letting him down.
He is a a fair few years younger than me and clearly currently has higher sex drive.
How can I get through this without pushing him away as I feel like that's is what I am doing

You'll get two kinds of answer to this issue on here. I guess tha majority will say that he should back off until you are ready to resume your sex life. And a smaller number will say that you could offer to do him anyway even though you are not keen yourself.

Lack of sex is very hard to take for some people, it brings the whole relationship into question. At the very least you should assure him that you want to deal with the issue and you will resume normal relationships as soon as you can. Only you can decide if you will offer him something now - I would suggest you consider this if you can.

Don't worry about your age, people don't stop having sex at 40, 50 or even 60 - we are over 60 and still DTD at least once a week. Your sex drive will carry on if you nurture it - use it or lose it as they say.

Thank you for your response.
I am keen to get the issue sorted I don't want to feel like this either but I just don't want it causing us an issue at the same time
Am hoping the doctor can help next week

I will have a think about what I can do in the meantime I really don't want him questioning us

Would he be satisfied with non PIV sex? There's plenty of other ways to have fun and orgasm op.

Could you give him other things other than full sex to take the edge off

I'm always amazed when people suggest other not PIV activities. When you have no libido, ANYTHING sexual is repellant. Not just PIV. The idea that you don't feel like you want sex but are happy to suck cock is ridiculous.

I'm currently on a new HRT and aside from the break-through bleeding I am totally not interested in having sex. I've explained exactly how I feel to my DP and he's been an angel. He's respectfully left me alone. We still cuddle regularly. I'm due a review of my HRT in a month and I'm hoping they'll change it or increase the dose - so fingers crossed I will get my sex drive back! I think if I was you OP, I'd feel resentful as well as guilty. I feel guilty but because he's not putting any pressure on, I feel in control of the situation and WANT to get it sorted. I have thought about 'helping him out' but he's perfectly capable and right now it would just give me the 'ick' and we all know how that ends up! I think he knows full well what he's doing OP and you need to tell him to back off otherwise you'll never get your libido back, mirena coil or not. Oh, and for what it's worth, I had one years ago but had it removed as I could feel it during sex, going to the loo. That put me off sex until it was removed.