I think my ex is behind this 😕

[MamaOl93]

I have a little boy, 3.5 years old, his dad’s never seen him - his choice etc, so I left it alone. I always have moments where I think about getting in touch but the fact of the matter is I don’t trust him now.

Anyway, Sunday at 3am I had a message request on Facebook from my son’s father’s step-brother saying “Fancy a chat? 😘”

... 🤢 hahaha.
He also tried adding me on Facebook. Just to be clear, I have never met this guy let alone spoke to him!

I think my ex was behind it. I spoke to their dad and he said he’d spoken to the step-brother and told him not to “interfere”

Which makes me think my ex was behind it...
Thoughts? 🤔

Block and move on. Don't even give it headspace.

Block and don't give it a second thought.

How many boards did you post this in?

Just ignore and don't be all dramatic about it. Honestly, you're better off just pretending it didn't happen.

This is the 3rd post I've seen. You only have to post once OP.

@Monday55 yeah I apologise for that - I didn’t realise there was a relationship forum before posting in others, and I don’t know how to delete the others x

Ignore it !

My first guess would have been that he didn't recognise you or work out who you are, that Facebook suggested that he could add you as a friend, and that he thought you looked pretty and was flirting with you. Just block and forget.

Why not make contact ? Unless there are safeguarding concerns I think you should , a crap bf can be a good enough dad , at least you could say to your son in the future that you tried?
I'd give him a chance ?

@nitsandwormsdodger I did - I was trying to make contact with him for months when my son was born even though he left me at 5 weeks pregnant. He never wanted to know, can’t force him x

Completely ignore that.

No responsible mature man who suddenly had a change of heart about their child and wanted to make amends and do the right thing and get to know their child properly would ever send a message like that with a kissing emoji as the first message.

It wasn't the dad who sent the message, though - it was the dad's step-brother, whom OP has never met.

What an odd thing to do.
Agree with pp. Block and move on.

If your ex was behind it, surely there are better and more mature ways to get in touch with you again.

Personally I'd give him second chance
Just because someone was a crap dad and partner at pregnancy doesn't mean they should be punished forever. A change of heart should be encouraged - with caution... otherwise your son my grow up with Fantasy about his dad and he could resent you if he finds out you rebuffed a chance to meet

@nitsandwormsdodger the message came from the brother, not the father of her child.

Could the step brother possibly have children and want to see if his family can have a relationship with your son?
Tbh I would speak to him and see what he wanted.

How is OP ‘punishing’ him? Sounds like he’s made his choice even after all her efforts to encourage contact, unsure why she’s being indirectly blamed here. This is now not her responsibility if he wants to get in touch then he needs to do so properly and respectfully. I mean it’s not hard is it.

@MamaOl93 I’d ignore and block the message, I wouldn’t answer anything from anyone else’s account never mind one with kissing emojis in. If it is your ex then he can get in contact like a normal person and take it from there.