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Original poster

Chances of ever meeting someone else

13 replies

Sideorderofchips · 13/10/2020 12:13

Hey all

So I've come out of a 15 year relationship. He cheated with my best mate.

I have 3 kids, in my thirties, I'm overweight, have major trust issues, mental health problems and an autoimmune disease that means I'm tired alot

My chances of meeting someone else are fairly slim aren't they.

OP posts:
Echobelly · 13/10/2020 12:17

I think the number 1 thing is to take it slowly and try not worry about meeting someone else for now. It's not really a great time for it anyway and you need to look after yourself and your kids. I hope you can get your head together a bit and be ready when you're ready.

Someone will be there if you want them, but you and your kids are the priority for now. I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

Titsinknicks · 13/10/2020 12:32

Never leave someone because you think you might meet someone else better (because you might not) - leave them because you'll be happier on your own.

Work on yourself and take it from there.
Yes it will be harder but grieve your relationship, look at your own personal stuff and health and worry about meeting someone down the line

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 13/10/2020 13:48

@Titsinknicks

Never leave someone because you think you might meet someone else better (because you might not) - leave them because you'll be happier on your own.

Work on yourself and take it from there.
Yes it will be harder but grieve your relationship, look at your own personal stuff and health and worry about meeting someone down the line

Yes - and to add on top of this, also don’t sell yourself short in potential future relationships with this mindset. Don’t tell yourself (or other people!) that you just need to be grateful for any crumbs you can get, what with having 3 kids and an autoimmune disease etc etc.

There are however many billion people in the world, there will be lots of good people for whom you are an excellent fit.

Original poster
Sideorderofchips · 13/10/2020 13:49

He left me as he wasn't happy and then took an emotional affair to physical with my ex friend

I guess its just a down day today

OP posts:
Titsinknicks · 13/10/2020 15:01

I'm sorry op. You will feel better, promise x

VisionOfMan · 13/10/2020 15:21

I know exactly what you're going through.
I was also in a 15 year relationship with my wife and she cheated on me with someone. She actually left me for this person. It was a truly awful day having to watch my wife and kids walk out the fornt door so they could go and be with someone else.

I felt horrible about myself, I was overwight, unhealthy and desperately sad. I didn't think I had a hope of meeting anyone else. That was the worst part, I had this vision of growing old alone with no body wanting me.

But I used the time to work on myself. I Went down the gym everyday, changed my diet to a healthy one, took up meditation. Before I knew it I was attracting women like I used to in my youth. I'm in my forties now and people can't beleive it when I tell them.

And the cherry on the top was that several months later my wife asked if we could get back together again. Of course I told her where to go, that felt good!

My advice is to work on yourself, it's probably the last thing you feel like doing but you need to force yourself. It does take will power and determination but it's so worth it.

MikeUniformMike · 13/10/2020 15:49

No, they are not @Sideorderofchips.
Concentrate on getting yourself through the hurt and on looking after your DC.

MikeUniformMike · 13/10/2020 15:50

Get your own life good, and you may well meet someone, probably when you least expect it.

Dery · 13/10/2020 15:51

@VisionOfMan - what an uplifting post!

@Sideorderofchips - let VisionOfMan inspire you. You can turn this around. And you will.

SunflowerYellow · 13/10/2020 22:34

It will take time OP but believe me you will meet someone else. It’s difficult to date when you have kids but not impossible.
The main goal right now should be for you to concentrate on healing and your own personal goals. Once you are happy being alone then that’s the right time to think about meeting someone else. You deserve better than a lying cheat.

Original poster
Sideorderofchips · 13/10/2020 22:42

Hi all

Thank you for your support. It has made me feel a bit better.

I've taken myself off all social media for now to help my mental health

OP posts:
LoopyLaRue · 14/10/2020 03:18

You'll be fine but as pp have said it really does take time. Look after yourself, do things for you, and when you're ready, start thinking about dating. But you have to get the ex out of your system first.

Reastie · 14/10/2020 10:59

Chips I’m so sorry to hear this. I try to get through things by believing in fate. You will get through this. It might not feel like it but you will be happy again. You’ve got so much to mentally process just focus on each day and yourself and the clouds will turn to sun. Happy for you to message me for a chat if you need it x

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