No sex after baby

[Tikikoto2113]

Since we found out I was pregnant he just went off me completely, hes amazing and attentive in every other way, also still cuddling kissing etc. Our angel is 3 months now and still havent had sex, so for me this is about 12 months of 0 sex I’m only 26 now its making me feel ugly and rejected. He has no issue “getting up” but when it comes to it hes tired etc. We have date nights and I still make an effort to look good for myself everyday. Every aspect of our relationship I’m happy with but this is such a kill for me, what to do?

What does he say about it?

@category12 nothing he shrugs it off, will say hes tired usually, pretends to sleep early. I have stopped initiating it now because I hate the feeling if rejection

My partner didn't have sex with me while I was pregnant, he didn't want it and after we didn't have sex until my daughter was 5 months. My partner went thru a lot of emotions becoming a dad and that killed a lot of his sex drive while he adjusted being a good father/dad. He also suffered from anxiety of not being able to support me enoigh. Be patient with him, I know you physically had the baby but men can also struggle with the newborn phase even if not physically strained by having a baby. Its great you are taking pride in yourself but do it for yourself and not for him. Wear what makes you feel good and own it. I'd wait a few months and get thru the newborn phase and then start to talk about it again.

What insightful, wise words from Boopthesnoot. In his mind something has changed. He may see you more as a mum now than his sexy partner. Take sex off the agenda and instead try to build on all the good aspects of your relationship and hopefully increased closeness and intimacy will return again soon.

Try massages with no sex intended and build from there. He might feel in the mood soon.

My issue here is him not communicating. Not having sex with your partner for a year and shrugging it off saying "too tired" is not good enough. Yea, it could be due to anxiety or adjusting (or madonna-whore complex) etc. but he should be talking and expressing his feelings. Even if he cannot fully verbalize them, too tired is not enough unless he can explain it a bit more.

I'd sit him down and talk how it makes you feel. Give him an opportunity to open up. A caring partner at this point should be saying saying something at this poin to explain it to their partner and then work from there.