advice on sex please!

[foxy1]

hello - i have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old and have not had sex with husband since finding out i was pregnant. i have been bf and son is still waking up twice in the night. feel very tired and not very sexy. my husband has not initiated it and nor have i.

Part of the problem is that i feel claustrophobic in the missionary position (only this position) but my husband said yesterday that i have ruined our sex life because i don't like it in that position. i said that is not the only position there are lots of other positions. We didnot discuss it further as he had been drinking and it was really late. I feel worried about discussing it and not sure what to do. what can i do to get my sex drive back. just feel drained and unsexy but don't want to feel like this. any advice would be appreciated. thank you

wow...i like the way YOU ruined your sex life because you don't fancy that position

i know when i was breastfeeding i found a lack of lubrication was a problem- that made it not as much fun. is that part of it?

if he is so set on missionary, can you not compromise and do it a bit in a way he likes, a bit in a way you would like too?

maybe see if anyone can have the kids for an afternoon / night so you can have time to yourselves? and get yourself something nice that will make you feel good- undies, make up, whatever.

i know how it feels, so you have my sympathies. sounds like you don't have your DH's though, which is a shame.

Don't be so hard on yourself, it does take a while to feel your body is your own again and therefore sexy.

i'm afraid you have to let him know that speading your legs at 10pm isn't going to cut it - he needs to make an effort - get rid of a couple of the kids for the evening - take the load off what you have to do to give you more energy.

and that until he thinks about things more your not going to bother

missionary but him not on top of your torso - rather kneeling up and holding your hips may give same penetration without the claustrophobia

I know you have probably heard it all before, but you may find that just spending time talking with your husband may help. If its only when the kids have gone to bed. I know it makes me feel better when me and my husband understand what each of us is thinking etc.

I'm sure we've all been there - feeling knackered, drained, etc (yes, I am also Knackered and drained - 3 yr old and 7 month old). Does he know how you feel - tired, unsexy, etc? Does he just feel rejected? If you explain to him, then things may get easier between you. You may start feeling sexy again if you feel closer to each other, though being up twice a night with a baby is not easy!

As far as positions go, I agree with pregnantgrrl - do a bit of what each of you likes. If you do not want to discuss positions with him, perhaps you could initiate sex in a different position. He may be surprised and really enjoy it!