Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help with my ex!

11 replies

QuieTgrl · 12/10/2020 14:54

So I split up with my ex partner in January this year.. we’ve been on and off for the last 3 years since our little boy was born, he was quite a violent person towards me but in arguments we were both as bad as each other. We didn’t speak from January- July we decided to put our differences aside so he and our little boy can have a decent relationship and would be nice to get on.. fast forward to end of September it’s getting abit too friendly for me and he was slipping back to how he used to be with me emotionally manipulating me and controlling. We ended up sleeping together a few times took our son out together which was nice to see little one happy. But as I’ve backed away my ex doesn’t like it.. he’s told me how much of a sh*t mum I am, I also suffer with depression and he saying I can’t cope because I moved to my parents (but that was because I didn’t have anywhere to go when we split and no money) he told me I don’t deserve my little boy and I should go and kill myself :( after this i said that we should go to mediation so there’s no more arguing infront on our little boy but now he’s saying I can have our boy to myself and he can go find him when he’s older if he wants to. I don’t know what to do for the best... someone help!

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 12/10/2020 15:22

He sounds awful. I think you'd be doing the best for yourself and your son if he disappeared.

Why would you want your son to grow up watching his mum be abused by his dad?

QuieTgrl · 12/10/2020 16:04

This is the thing he’ll say sorry as he has today then I forgive as I usually do then 2-3 weeks later something like this happened again. But I can’t do this anymore. Today he’s messaged me like nothing has happened and has asked when he can see him :(

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 12/10/2020 16:23

Why are you forgiving him? He has learned nothing from his past mistakes and just wants you to play nice and accept it from him repeatedly.

Tell a friend your plans so that you're accountable to yourself and tell him to GTFO.

slipperywhensparticus · 12/10/2020 16:25

Let him fucking go he is poison

QuieTgrl · 12/10/2020 16:52

So you think I should just cut contact between him and my little boy? I can quite easily do that I just worry I’m doing what’s best

OP posts:
Dogssox · 12/10/2020 17:05

Let him go. He's using your son as way of keeping in contact with you. Now he's had enough of you he's no longer interested in being a father... But I doubt this will be the end of it. He will get bored and start demanding contact again sooner or later. Going in and out your sons life isn't good for the dc or you as I suspect this is about controlling you rather than being a father.
I suggest you speak to a solicitor. You are probably eligible for legal aid.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 12/10/2020 17:15

your son gains nothing from being around an abuser.

nimbuscloud · 12/10/2020 17:20

Why on earth are you having sex with him? I think you have to put your child first and ditch the abusive ex.

QuieTgrl · 12/10/2020 17:29

@nimbuscloud because I’m a idiot :( it made my life easier to keep him happy.
@Dogssox he’s asking now to see him! I’m getting whiplash from his changing mind!

OP posts:
willowmelangell · 12/10/2020 23:00

Dear God! This is one of the most vile men I have ever heard of.
Cut him off. He is mentally battering you down so you are grateful for when he decides to toss a crumb your way.
It is absolutely best for you and your ds to stop seeing him, phone, text and all the rest.
He is not going to change is he.

QuieTgrl · 12/10/2020 23:47

Thank you everyone for your responses 🤗

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread