I just want out off my relationship but I'm stuck

[justwantabreak]

Basically that I'm stuck their is no way out for me everyday I wake up sad every day and I hate it.

Why do you state that you are stuck?

What are the factors here preventing you from leaving?

We have about 13k in debt majority of it is in his name he always says we're stuck together until it's paid off.

I have no money I work part time if I wanted to leave I would have to quit my job.

Also I have no where to go.

He's horrible to me every single day and talks to me like shit I honestly can't cope with it anymore I really can't. I had a breakdown the other day he kept going on and on and shouting at me whilst I was driving I slammed on the brakes and jumped out the car in a main road.

I've just had enough

Are you married to him?

I would speak to stepchange re the debt and see properly what your position is re this.

Where are your parents and or other family/friends here?

I would also speak to women’s aid here as they can advise you further . You do not have to live in fear

He is wrong in that you are not stuck together until the debt is paid off

You don’t have to live this way for a minute longer even though it seems that way. Debt can be dealt with as PP said there are charities/support available to help with this. He is using the debt as a way to make you feel trapped whilst he continually chips away at your self esteem and mental health.
Contact women’s aid, they can advise you on how to get away from him.
Don’t waste anymore of your life living this way, you are worth so much more than this

You can get help from Women’s aid to leave. It sounds bloody scary!! You don’t have to live like this.

No not married but we have 2 DCS together. He always says if I was to leave he is stuck with the debt and I won't be able to afford to pay him so we have to stay together.

Please get help from women’s aid OP. You’re not stuck with him. He’s a liar.

He is lying to you.
Online is your friend now. Look up what benefits you would be entitled to. Get an online bank account in your name only. See what free sites there are to assist with budget and debt repayment. Pootle about for 2 bed rental properties in your area, just a look see, picture yourself somewhere new, happy. It never hurts to see what jobs or training is available. Jobs in schools are an absolute lifesaver, see what is local. Online courses for free.
Google searches, say, Not married, must I pay his debt? or What do I do if my partner is in debt?
The results will open your eyes.
Good luck x

You are not married. His debt is his debt. Not yours. Never will be.

@justwantabreak - stop listening to what he tells you about the debt or any other matters concerning your future. He will tell you what it suits him to have you believe. There is no reason why the debt has to be paid off before you can leave. And at least in relation to this debt, not being married works in your favour - you're not in any sense liable for this debt. Even if you did share liability - you don't have to stay in an abusive situation until it is paid off.

Why would you have to quit your job if you left? It is because he provides your childcare? If that is the case, do you have any other sources of childcare available - parents, other relatives or friends who could help out - if only temporarily.

This is horrible for you and also an unpleasant environment for your children to grow up in so the sooner you can get out the better.

Do NOT discuss your escape plans with him, though. Even if he has never been physically violent to you before, this might be the time when he becomes physically violent or in any case increases the emotional and psychological violence which he is already inflicting. In the meantime, just grey rock him and act as normal as possible while you plan your exit.

Why would you need to pay him? You are not married, the majority of the debt is in his name.

You can and should leave, it will be difficult but not impossible.

You are not responsible for debts in his name. You really aren't. Unless it's a joint application/mortgage etc, the law will see you as two separate adults. Using the term "partner" muddies things in your head, but not legally.

Why should you pay your boyfriends' debts? You're not married, you are not responsible for him. Do yourself and your children a favour, and leave.

You’re not “stuck”!
You can get help & get out of the relationship.
You can create a safe and happy home for you & your children.

@SuitedandBooted

You are not responsible for debts in his name. You really aren't. Unless it's a joint application/mortgage etc, the law will see you as two separate adults. Using the term "partner" muddies things in your head, but not legally.

Why should you pay your boyfriends' debts? You're not married, you are not responsible for him. Do yourself and your children a favour, and leave.

Please please please listen to all of us telling you this. It is his debt. You are not married, it is purely his. Please leave you deserve better than this