Resuming relationship with ex but resentful.

[Berline]

I am 45. I dated a guy for 3 years from 20- 23. He was/is 5 years older. He broke up with me and I was devastated. I bumped into him a couple of months ago (we're both single now having broken up with long-term partners).
He clearly likes me again and I adore him and things are going quite well.
There was nobody else involved when he dumped me -I know this because he'd still show up to see me - and not for sex, either, though this eventually stopped and I moved on to my ex-partner.
Thing is, I just can't forget that he dumped me. I know it was 20-odd years ago now and maybe I'm being silly but I can't get past it. Maybe I'm just being silly and it's clear in retrospect he had issues outside of the relationship at that time.
I do want to be with him but this is always there, that I was not good enough and I feel resentful.
Any advice?

Why did he break up with you?

If you can't get over it, then why bother?
He dumped you once, could do so again. I'm not sure why you'd bother.

Never a good idea to live in the past imo

He was having some kind of breakdown at the time but I could not see it. Why bother? Yeah maybe I should just leave it be. I can't get past it. Maybe it's illogical but it is what it is. Maybe I just need others to say it.

@Berline

He was having some kind of breakdown at the time but I could not see it. Why bother? Yeah maybe I should just leave it be. I can't get past it. Maybe it's illogical but it is what it is. Maybe I just need others to say it.

Yeah, if you are still resentful after literally decades later, then you need to let this guy go op! Its not fair on him or you.

I kind of get this.... But I think you're looking through the lens of "soul mates" "true love always conquers"...., 'if he loved me why did he let me go" ... And forgetting about the fact that life is sometimes incredibly difficult, sometimes unbearably so....

I would judge him on how he treated you even though he broke up with you... Was he honest?, respectful? Did he mess you around or was he straight with you?

I would also consider that you are both different people from that time and therefore are having a fundamentally different relationship. This time, you probably know yourself better and have gained knowledge and insight you didn't have then. Use it.

So what was the cause of the breakdown and has he had therapy/mental help for this "breakdown" that apparently caused him to break up with you?

How sure are you that he's not just coming to you because you're an easy target and he knows you still like him?

I don't think it's because I'm an easy target, no.
I appreciate that we may be different people now etc, but I really can't get past this.
Oh I haven't spent last twenty years resentful of him. I've got on with life but now I'm seeing him again it's all back obviously.
Just got to end it, I suppose.
Yes, I understand that we may be different but this resentment is always t here. Thanks for responding.