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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do people do this?

30 replies

Alonely1 · 11/10/2020 12:35

Last year I met a guy through friends . He was messaging via social media . We had a few coffees and he seemed like a nice guy . It escalated a bit and he bought me chocolates to my house and we went for a date . We slept together and kept meeting up . He wanted to ‘take it slow’( and other non committal nonsense). I thought it may go somewhere. In the end he let me down for a meet up and I just told him to get stuffed.

Looking back , this was a causal relationship and he had no feelings for me .
He text me out of the blue saying he was sorry that he just treated me casually as he knew I wanted a relationship. He said he took advantage of me.He texts me every week or so, I usually just blank it and give it zero thought. Sometimes he texts me rubbish like ‘you are beautiful and special to me’.

He seems to really enjoy that he hurt me and he has admitted he is a manipulative person. He seems to really enjoy down playing what we had saying he’s not been on a date in years and he would love to meet someone. He’s said what we had was not official and a bit of fun .
I’ve blocked him now . Is he a narcissist ? I’m so angry I have indulged this person .

OP posts:
bebarkered · 11/10/2020 16:41

Hi OP. I'm unsure if this guy is a narcissist, he could be a sociopath. He certainly sounds like he has a personality disorder xx

IncandescentSilver · 11/10/2020 18:31

Narcissist or not, he's definately a player, and a nasty one at that. I do think the player type should at least be charming. I agree that he might well be a sociopath, getting a kick out of leading women on and then letting them down. Certainly all the signs of having a personality disorder as *bebarkered" points out, and I don't think its good to normalise this behaviour.

thecatsarecrazy · 12/10/2020 13:42

You were right to block. I was seeing someone casually but made it clear I also didn't want to see anyone else. He messaged one night that made it obvious he was looking to meet someone else. He went quiet for 2 months. When he couldn't get his dick wet anywhere else he was asking have you met anyone else lately? Then started saying he's so sorry he vanished he needed time, and started saying I was beautiful, and going back over our sex meets. It was pathetic and totally predictable. I didn't meet him. He stil messages sad faces from time to time. Dickhead.

Paralyticattheparty · 12/10/2020 23:58

He’s a narcissist.

OldWomanSaysThis · 13/10/2020 00:15

How about this - He has narcissistic traits.

Because it sounds like he does.

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