DD2 is mid 20s and working; currently living with me and DD1 but lived independently when at uni. Has always felt she's different and we've both suspected that she may be on the spectrum; XH probably is. But she did well at school and ASD was never raised so she was never assessed.
She has friends from uni she keeps in touch with and is planning a holiday with them post Covid. And she will talk with DD1 sometimes if the subject is of interest to her and with her DF when she sees him occasionally.
But here's the thing. From time to time she becomes very anxious/depressed - she's spoken to GP about it but refused medication. During these periods she becomes very close to me. Wants to be in the same room with me, talks about her feelings in great depth, wants to go for walks with me/ to the shops etc, wants lots of hugs.
During these periods which occur for about a month every 2 years or so, I'm there for her and we have long talks and walks and there's lots of closeness. I get to see a different side of my daughter - loving, tender but deeply troubled.
However, when after a few weeks she gets better mentally/emotionally she seems to shut me out. Gives one word answers, doesn't want to converse, just wants to lodge in my house. This has been the pattern throughout her teenage/adult life.
I'm always pleased and relieved when she gets better mentally/emotionally but I miss the closeness that i had a glimpse of during the down times. I'd like us to have a more balanced relationship and have mentioned this to her, and she agrees, but it doesn't happen.
Can someone explain what's happening here? Give me some guidance?