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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused about how I feel

1 reply

MaxwellTheThird · 10/10/2020 15:41

I have NC. I don't like how I'm feeling, and I need a verbal kick or advice if anyone's willing.

DH is awesome, honestly he is. We are mostly happy, apart from our sex life and his weight. Sex is rubbish and I had committed to that being the part of our relationship I should just accept, because I'm lucky in other ways. There's no real passion, he is silent throughout it - and I mean silent. Not a peep. He shows no enjoyment, and suffers with prem ejaculation. Ask him though, and he swears he's enjoyed it. I have to initiate something different, tell him what to do - most of the time I do what I need to, to get off. He admits he isn't very confident.

The job I do, means I see a lot of male bodies, especially males who take care of themselves. DH doesn't. It's got to the point I'm dreaming and fantasising about my clients, and the more good bodies I see, the more I'm put off by DH.
I know I am shallow. I also know I don't want to leave DH, but conversely don't want the crap sex and to be lusting after other men. I am insanely jealous of people with good sex lives. I am a horrible person.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2020 15:45

You are not a horrible person, at all. An unfulfilling sex life is soul crushing, and there's nothing wrong with being turned off by your husband's weight. I would be, too, massively.

You have a lot of thinking to do as for what you want for your future.

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