I have NC. I don't like how I'm feeling, and I need a verbal kick or advice if anyone's willing.
DH is awesome, honestly he is. We are mostly happy, apart from our sex life and his weight. Sex is rubbish and I had committed to that being the part of our relationship I should just accept, because I'm lucky in other ways. There's no real passion, he is silent throughout it - and I mean silent. Not a peep. He shows no enjoyment, and suffers with prem ejaculation. Ask him though, and he swears he's enjoyed it. I have to initiate something different, tell him what to do - most of the time I do what I need to, to get off. He admits he isn't very confident.
The job I do, means I see a lot of male bodies, especially males who take care of themselves. DH doesn't. It's got to the point I'm dreaming and fantasising about my clients, and the more good bodies I see, the more I'm put off by DH.
I know I am shallow. I also know I don't want to leave DH, but conversely don't want the crap sex and to be lusting after other men. I am insanely jealous of people with good sex lives. I am a horrible person.