A couple of weeks ago I picked up a very drunk woman who I found lying on the ground outside my house at midnight. My husband and I eventually got out of her that she lived further down the same road.
She wasn’t very coherent but didn’t want to go home. At the time I thought she was being drunk and a bit difficult but when her husband came to the door, he politely thanked us, brought her in then started shouting at her. (Not hitting her, we could see from outside). I didn’t feel there was much I could do at the time as it wasn’t exactly bad enough to get police involved.
Now it turns out she is new to the road and has asked to join the road whatsapp which I run. That’s all fine, I’ve sent her a welcome message and I explained that I was the person that brought her home. (I didn’t want to keep this from her, but also don’t want to embarrass her so tried to put it breezily) she thanked me and apologised and said all was not as it seemed and she’d like to explain “one day”. I replied saying absolutely no need to apologise or explain but if she ever wanted a chat I’m always happy to meet for a coffee. I didn’t mention the DH and she probably doesn’t know I witnessed the screaming.
Should I offer more in terms of telling her I was concerned about her or should I leave it at the vague offer of a coffee. I feel if she does need help and she doesn’t realise I saw it then she won’t be inclined to ask if that makes sense.
Maybe you’ll say, it’s not a big deal and stay out of it but it was quite upsetting to see a really, really drunk woman getting balled out of it by her husband.
I work with teens who have lived with DV so I’m familiar with a lot of the training around it. Just not sure how far to go in a non-urgent situation. Don’t want to embarrass her but at the same time want to let her know I’m there if she needs help.