OLD. How to focus on the person and not the ticky boxes

[MyOwnSunshine]

I’m going on a 3rd date today. I’m not experienced at all with relationships and was really beginning to think that it would never happen for me.

I had one last go at Bumble and matched with this man.

He’s lovely and he is definitely taking the lead with planning so he must like me.

I’m just worried that because he ticks all the boxes (same cultural background as me, tall, has hair () I’m liking the situation of finally going out with someone and not really getting to know him, IYKWIM?

We also ran into my nosiest colleague last week and of course she told the whole department, which has thrown me a little.

I’m just worried that because he ticks all the boxes (same cultural background as me, tall, has hair () I’m liking the situation of finally going out with someone and not really getting to know him, IYKWIM?

I think similar cultural background is good. Height and hair are probably the least important aspects of a person. Their character is far more important than superficial things like that.

I dated someone for far longer than I should because he ticked the physical boxes (complete opposite to yours! ) and so I overlooked some glaring character flaws.

I ended it eventually and realised I could live without looking at his face etc so had wasted a lot of time.

I don’t think I’ve seen any glaring flaws in him yet.

I keep just saying to myself that it’s only lunch and that’s it

I don’t think I’ve seen any glaring flaws in him yet.

They'll be there

Just don't be so blinded by his appearance that you overlook the bad.

If you think you might be so keen to meet up with someone that you're not thinking straight :) maybe keep on dating at the same time - so it feels like he's one of many possibilities, and you might even get a chance to compare?

i.e. keep looking on Bumble.