Why would someone do this?

[PositiveLife]

I have a friend (who is also an ex), let's call him Bob.

Bob is fit and active, does lots of activities with various people, good at meeting new people.

Bob has told me he is ill, his condition is getting worse, it will eventually kill him and he is running out of time to do the activities he enjoys. When Bob comes round he loses his balance on the stairs, sometimes falls over in my house, etc. All supposedly symptoms of his condition and getting worse.

Yet he spends multiple days a week doing all his activities and nobody else has noticed him being dizzy. This evening he walked towards me to say hi and wobbled as he walked (nobody was near by) but he didn't ever do it again all evening. I mentioned it to another friend tonight and he said Bob's never mentioned it to him or been dizzy around him.

I think he's faking it, but why? I don't see any point. I'm not really giving him any sympathy because I don't actually believe he's ill. So I don't see what he gains from it

If he is going climbing and has a condition like this you really have to have a serious word with him, it's so dangerous! From his excuses you may be able to judge the truth?

Ah yes, I’ve had an ex try the serious illness card too. Manipulative prick.

The only way to see if he's putting it in for your benefit is to see how he is around other people

Or - go out for a meal or drink or an activity of his choice with other people... then slip on something like “well obviously with your life threatening illness you have going on” or “you don’t seem to be as dizzy today, hve you had a date for the surgery?” And see how others react.

Red flag OP. Listen to you gut and distance yourself from this guy. Sounds v weird tbh

He has something to gain from you believing that there is something wrong with him. You just have to figure out what it is that he stands to gain. It sounds to me like he's setting himself up with an excuse - either for past transgressions or future ones. Then, if and when these transgressions come to light, he can blame it on some neurological condition.

I would set up a WhatsApp group with all of your mutual friends and sporting associates including him:

“Wobbly Bob after a nob Appeal”

Spell out all of the incidents, diagnosis, symptoms etc and ask them to rally round with fundraisers for grab rails, neck braces etc”

Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

Why have you an ex who likes drama and attention in your home?

Why are you “confused” about what you see, hear, have fact checked with others and know in your gut? Are you used to repressing your own feelings?

Seriously this is loony tunes territory. Don’t try to understand HIM try to understand YOU. Get him gone and don’t look back he is a manipulative creep.

@Nicolastuffedone

Oh, it’s his neck alright.......it’s brass

He sounds very strange.
Not sure I'd want to remain friends.

Mention it in front of his friends and make sure they hear:

“You’re looking well today, Bob. It must be so hard suffering from NeckWreck (or whatever he has). Has the specialist given you any hope at all for a cure?”

If you’re wrong and he’s genuine, you won’t have said anything bad, but if he’s faking, you’ll provoke questions from his friends that he’ll have to answer. His reaction should help too.