My partner doesn't help with the children unless he has to (when im at work which is only twice a week for 8 hours a day and children are at school for 6 of those hours) He doesn't help with the housework, cooking or the daily parenting (bath time, homework, clubs, bedtime, mornings, parents evenings, hair cuts, appointments) he sleeps/naps when he wants, goes out when he wants, comes back when he wants. I pay all bills. I take children places with no finiancal contribution from dp. We very rarely do things as a family. When i tell him im tired and need help, i get accused of not wanting my children. He calls me crazy when we argue, he's insulted my looks, my family, my parenting. My friends or family don't come over because when they do he constantly calls me away from them to 'help him with something' but it feels like he just want to be the alhpa male and show them he's boss and my attention should be on him. Ive questioned him about it and he says he does this to show them 'were a team' i know he's gaslighting me but he's making me feel crazy like this is a normal relationship and im wanting something thats not achievable (i just want 50/50 partner and parentship) sorry for long post.