She has a mental health problem, she has basically had MH issues my whole life. It has been almost impossible to get her any help. God knows I have tried. I have siblings who try and help her too......they are also exhausted by her behaviour. We all try to do practical stuff to help her but she never see's this and instead she tells us we do nothing to help her and constantly put too much on her. I never ask her for anything. My kids don't need babysitting (they are teens) and my siblings usually ask for small things like lifts or if she can do the school run (which she could say no to) I listen to her moan and go on for hours on end. I always give her proactive advice, try to help her find solutions and help her rationalise things. She does listen to me too when I need to talk so it isn't all one sided in that respect. I have told her not to offer help to other people if she can't manage it. She is perfectly entitled to say no and not give an explanation to other people. But she says yes then moans about how exhausted she feels from doing it.
At the moment she is just hysterical about everything. She can't cope with ANYTHING. The smallest tasks usually results in meltdown. She shouts and screams at me all the time about things that are nothing to do with me. It often feels like the boundary of our relationship has been blurred and I end up being a therapist more than a daughter.
Yesterday she behaved appallingly towards a relative and I lost my shit- I told her off and said what she said was totally out of order. She just kept saying she is at the end of her tether like it's some kind of excuse and that we don't understand what she is going through. We patched things up and I thought it was over and done with. Today she called me, we talked about normal day to day stuff and then all of a sudden she went off on one, told me not to talk until she had finished and proceeded to yell at me about what I had said to her the day before, that I fail to see that she isn't in the right frame of mind and so horrible stuff comes out of her mouth - that would be fine if it was a one off but it isn't and she regularly has outbursts where nasty words get said and then blamed on her frame of mind. She can't see anything from anyone else's point of view. She is the victim in everything. Always a million times worse off than everyone else. No one else understands her. No one cares. She goes on and on about how we all make her feel like she isn't good enough and that she is a bad person. That she has been told her whole life what a bad person she is......you can not say anything in the slightest bit critical to her or she wheels that one out. I am sick of being a punch bag for her bad moods. I understand that to some degree she can't help what she is going through but equally sometimes you have to take a bit of responsibility of things and help yourself.
I love her very much which is why I keep trying to help her and have stuck around but right now I could cry with how she is behaving. I might sound like I don't care but I am tired of this, I had to put up with it to varying degrees throughout my childhood, along with a load of other trauma (that no one could have helped including my mum, none of us in my family have had an easy ride) I have my own mental health problems that I am trying my best to fix- I had to take time off sick the last week to try and sort myself out. I felt I was getting a grip back on things and came back to work today and she's been screaming down the phone at me and sending messages on Facebook. I am so tired of doing my best to help her and having it thrown back in my face, equally I don't buy into the "I've got shit going on in my life, therefor I can speak to you like crap" mentality. I almost didn't post this because if she ever read how I feel the fallout would be horrendous......I worry that she might do something stupid. I have spoken to her GP but they have done nothing.
I am not sure what I am asking, I just needed a safe place to vent and I guess if anyone has any advice then I would greatly accept it.