How well do you get on with Yr ex DH.

[Ilovetheseventies]

I've been separated from my DH almost 2.5 yrs which I instigated. I've just signed the divorce papers last week at his request. Since we split up we haven't had much communication but we have three children together.
When we split up he refused to talk about anything to do with us.
It was my birthday two days ago and I actually got a happy birthday via messenger. I think he's maybe relaxing a little and feels as we are divorcing he can let his guard down abit. He's in a new serious relationship.
I was very sad about getting divorced and so I'm going to leave it a couple of weeks but I want us to be able to communicate and be civil to each other. We have three children together and a happy marriage for most of our time together.
How well do you get on with your ex DHs?

[Jayaywhynot]

ExP, split up when DD was a baby, got back together a few times. Never supported us either practically, emotionally or financially. No hard feelings from me anymore, life's too short. He let DD (adult now) down so many times that she cut him off, for years he's gone through me to try to repair the relationship, he's old now and has ill health, I've tried to get DD to reconnect with him for her sake so she doesn't have any regrets if anything happens to him.
He and I sporadically message, talk about life, I felt sorry for him.
Latest stunt he pulled is he went into hospital and he got his girlfriend to message me saying he was dying and he only had days to live.
DD phoned the hospital and spoke to the doctor and found out it was all lies.
He came out of hospital, photos on fb of him drinking and smoking.
I messaged them both and told them exactly what I thought of them.
That's me done, no more, blocked them both.

[HariboBrenshnio]

Very early days here, he only moved out at the beginning of august.
We hit friend zone before we separated which I think has helped us stay really amicable - so far. We mostly chat about the kids but we do chat about other stuff too. The children are young so we talk daily about them. He pays maintenance and has them 2 nights a week plus some school pick ups.
We went away for my sons birthday and we have a holiday planned in March with friends.
He does drive me bonkers but like others have said, I can just eye roll now at the stuff that I used to hate to live with and move past it because I go home alone! So far so good - fingers crossed.

[slipperywhensparticus]

Ex 1 great i haven't seen him since dd was three ish?

Ex 2 hate him with a passion we did not split amicably he is vile behind my back smarmy to my face he is abusive but keeps it borderline with the kids so no one can stop contact apart from the kids who cba to see him unless he bribes them with toys

I have shite taste in men

[annonymousse]

We are polite. We can have superficial conversations if we cross paths but I am definitely not his friend. He is now married to my ex friend who he had an affair with and left me for.

[Ilovetheseventies]

Lonely Sam
I need a better relationship. Not much of one, not a friendship. It's true he may not want anything to do with me but I would say that it's much better to be civil and get on.The children maybe older but there are always going to be issues and times that you will need to be in each other company.
Nothing happened in our relationship that was so bad that we want nothing to do with each other.

[ulanbatorismynextstop]

I have 2 kids to 2 fathers, I attract abusers, so left both through their abuse. First husband, over the 11 years we've generally got on fine except for the occasional flare up. Same with second, theyre both good dads, we generally always put the kids needs first so overall fine.

[1forAll74]

I have been divorced for more than 30 years now, but stayed friends with my ex until the day he died six years ago. He remarried some time after our divorce. but we decided together that we would always stay friends, our two children, and all our previous memories and photo's etc, were always special for us, no matter what happened in our lives after.

[Athrawes]

I left my

[Athrawes]

I left my ex, sort of for another man. So, understandably he can't stand me and the idea of friendship is light years away. We have one son and in front of him appear civil. But he won't attend the same parent teacher night as me and the idea of Xmas together probably makes him feel sick.
I should have left him years ago but kept trying to make it work. Meeting an old friend who showed me that I am not useless was the impetus I needed to leave.

[Pachonga]

I like mine. ExDH was and still is a great dad and generally a pretty good guy. We had been drifting along for years and the kids, our careers and moving around a fair bit disguised that for years. We moved to New York City and it was a very exciting time so you can imagine my surprise when TWO WEEKS after we moved here, he met and fell head-over-heels in love with someone else. Nothing happened between them (I believe him) and we both gave it a good go for another year, we thought we owed each other that, but the whole thing had definitely shown us that we could be happier and deserved to be happier and that in order to attain that, we had to break up. It was sad but actually more than fine and three years on, I’m happy it happened. I occasionally see him when he comes to meet our kids and it’s friendly and cordial and I feel warmth towards him. Predictably he is now with the OW and I wish them well, though that was hard at first. It’s worked out as well as it could have, I think.

[Wiredforsound]

We split after 15 years together when he finally admitted to himself and me that he was gay. In fairness, we’d been living like brother and sister for the previous 5 years so it didn’t come as a huge shock. After a weird few awkward months we started chatting normally again and it’s been great ever since. We spend Christmas and the kids birthdays together along with our own partners, he pops in to see them most days on the days they’re not staying with him, and he comes round to see them and have a drink when my parents come over to visit.

Importantly, he has been an amazing dad. He has been financially generous and does plenty of the boring stuff like taking the kids to the dentist or get school shoes. I don’t think the kids noticed a much of a change other than making jokes about now having 3 dads.

[Heatherjayne1972]

No contact at all. Actually he hates me
I’m just indifferent to him
Any communication about the kids goes through the kids themselves but it’s only about when he’s collecting them and dropping them back ( 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon )
He’s not interested in actually parenting them

[Overwhelmed222]

Don’t get on at all. Little to no contact (and not once face to face) despite having three dc. He often ignores any logistical text I might send. I send them only when absolutely necessary now.

[pinkyponkywonky]

Utterly detest each other. Mainly due to the OW and her endless worry that he would come back to me.

He's the weakest, most useless father on the planet, so gets zero brownie points all round.

Vile creature !!

[Soopermum1]

It's been 4 years and we hate each other. He broke the marriage with his bizarre behaviour, but I don't really feel anything about that now, I'm much happier in a far better relationship, but the way he treats our children upsets me. We're going to court now, me for finances (he's dragged his heels and made all sorts of outlandish demands) and him for access to one of our children. He stopped seeing DC to try to control me and after all this time now wants access, with excuses and minimalising throughout. He's a very strange man and has messed up the older DC who he does see for a few hours a week. He has repeatedly said he wants nothing to do with me, and ignores messages about the children, but then criticises me for not keeping him up to speed on them. All contact is unnecessarily snipey. Forced to pay CSA, refuses family therapy, all the usual, prefers to take me to court. It's exhausting. I don't think we'll ever have a better relationship as he's not just a normal person who's behaved badly, or whatever, he's on a different planet, out of touch with reality. He was a bit strange when we were married but seems to have spun off on a trajectory now, and this is now how he is.

[PaterPower]

Took me a while to get over being cheated on, and then something else major involving the DC, but we’re friendly enough that I don’t see any problems with spending time together at a graduation or wedding etc.

It took a year or two after the split, but she’s my DCs’ Mum so holding on to my anger was ultimately hurting them and my relationship with them. We communicate ok mainly, but not exclusively, about the kids and I made sure “they” bought her Mother’s Day, Christmas and Birthday gifts when they were younger (they do it themselves now) and vice versa. We don’t buy gifts for each other though.

I don’t know how she feels about me and I’ve not lost any sleep over that (at least not after a few months post split). There was a short period where I would have forgiven her and tried to keep the marriage going, but she wasn’t interested and in retrospect that was better for me. My DP and I are a far far better fit than my exW and I were. That’s probably helped too.

[VictoriaBun]

No contact for many years . I have no feelings for him , but wouldn't wish ill on him. I ask my adult dc about him now and again, likewise my ex mil and his family. None kept in contact with me .then
I went through a stage looking them up on Facebook now and then ( snooping ) but I've blocked myself from that so don't bother now.

[BertiesLanding]

Very well, and better than when we were married. In fact, we live together and co-parent as housemates.