How do I deal with their sibling rivalry

[bex611]

My husband and I have been married for 20 years, we have 2 children. Now he’s nearing 50, he doesn’t want to have a relationship with his two younger sisters. They’re all in their 40s with kids. I can see why he doesn’t want a ‘relationship’ because since childhood they have had terrible hurtful sibling rivalry and its still rife now. Attending family functions are fine as its a large group. However outside of this my husband does not want to speak to them or see them.

Over the years I find myself becoming the ‘receptionist‘ as such. His sisters have decided to not contact him anymore because his lack of response, and instead contact me (though seldom) via email/phone me to get answers to invites or to find out why he hasn’t contact them, or find out what he’s up to! I’m really sick of organising his side of the family!!

I would like to keep out of it but I also feel like I shouldn’t ignore their emails/texts/calls as some of this involves playdates and a relationship between my kids and their children (as cousins).

My sisters in law are not especially friendly towards me (as one of them has been clear to me - they want a relationship with their brother, not me) and I feel like a ‘vessel’ that delivers my children to his family.

Does anyone have any suggestions or experience of this? Or what I should do?

How old are the kids? Could they arrange playdates themselves largely?
I mean, it sounds as if the relationship between the cousins is the only thing that might be worth keeping. The adults aren't particularly fond of each other...

Does it really matter that they see their cousins? I wouldn't want to go through that atmosphere just to facilitate token relationships. His side of the family, he s problem.

My sisters in law are not especially friendly towards me (as one of them has been clear to me - they want a relationship with their brother, not me) and I feel like a ‘vessel’ that delivers my children to his family.

Sounds like your DH has the right idea in not bothering with these rather shitty sisters?

I'd let it go - no way on earth would you catch me 'delivering up my children' to some woman snotty enough to let me know that!

(as one of them has been clear to me - they want a relationship with their brother, not me) and I feel like a ‘vessel’ that delivers my children to his family.

Good lord, love, where's your pride?

The family sound dysfunctional. If my SIL said she wasn't interested in a relationship with me, only her brother...then I would make it clear she should contact him directly and leave me out of it.

I don't see the need for my children to play with their cousins, when the mum has that attitude towards me. It's one thing if your DH was arranging the playdates, but to be so rude and expect me to be part of it all? No chance.

Nice as it may be for the kids... if the sibling parents don't have a close relationship...then the cousins won't either.