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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Counselling

2 replies

Hubby1980 · 08/10/2020 20:53

Hi All,

Just wondering if anyone has positive experiences of trying marriage counselling?

Myself and OH have been married for coming up to 4 years, and I feel that this year in particular we have been finding ourselves increasingly at odds on so many things, Family, Finances, Sex Life, DD etc. Have both been working from home since March which is definitely adding more pressure and I am absolutely not faultless so I know its something we need to work on together.

I am wondering if suggesting something like Relate might help us talk through some things. In particular, anyone have any tips on how to bring up the subject? DW is not great at taking criticism, and I worry that she will take the suggestion as criticism, even though I am well aware its something we need to work on together.

Any tips or experience would be appreciated!

Thanks

OP posts:
Welshgal85 · 08/10/2020 21:53

I haven’t been but know a few friends who have been to Relate and found it really good in helping them find a way forward in their relationships. I think they do online counselling too.

A friend of mine did also go on her own as well when her husband wouldn’t go, she was reluctant to go on her own as didn’t see the point in it but actually found that helpful as it was a good opportunity to talk to someone about what she was going through and get some outside perspective.

SandyY2K · 08/10/2020 21:55

Perhaps start the conversation by saying you've noticed things have been different over the past X months and would like it to get back to how it used to be.

Say that you're concerned about your differences regarding the issues you mentioned and that you were thinking that some professional support like a marriage counsellor might help.

It isn't about placing blame, it's about helping the marriage and trying to get things back on track for both of you.

A counsellor helps you to communicate better and should help to get both of you to understand how the other feels.

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