Who is right?

[Millymollymandy13]

Not a TAAT as such...but inspired by another thread on here which prompted a discussion with my partner.

We have been living together since March, in a very small space. He's very tidy, I am not. To help with keeping housework fair, we have a rota, and an agreement to clean the whole space every other weekend. We pretty much stick to it, which helped us not get irritated with each other initially. However, further arguments arise now as he is not happy with the 'standard' of my cleaning and how I do things. I am quite forgetful (I have ADHD) and tbh, remembering to put everything in the same place, every time, and how things 'should' be done, is not at the top of my agenda. I have a very busy and stressful full time job, as well as trying to finish a qualification on top of that, meaning in total I work 40 hours+ a week, every week. Should I try more or should he chill out?

It would annoy me too - sorry.
There is no reason why you can't remember to put the dish towel where it is meant to go. Keep doing it until it becomes automatic.
You need to work out where to stack dishes when cooking because it's annoying if someone else then comes to wash up later on and has to start moving everything out of the sink - especially if there's water or fat slopping around in some of the items.

Ecover: I used to use that when my ex was living with me as he wanted to be environmentally friendly. I bloody well hated it. I found I had to use absolutely loads of it to get things clean. It just wasn't as effective at getting rid of grease as a much smaller amount of a traditional washing-up liquid. So I swapped back and things improved. Try using a lot more of it or insist on using something else.

I do think that you need to make more effort to put things in the correct place in the flat. A studio is very small and with two people in it and one wfh all the time, it needs to be kept very tidy. I wfh (have done since long before Corona) and I find I can't concentrate if there's mess around. It's distracting.

However, if you make an effort with the things he has complained about and he still picks fault and finds other things to go on about, then maybe you might have to decide to move on as you are not compatible.

I really like the little dishwashers- we are going to have a look this weekend!
Also noted that Ecover is crap.
Thanks for the tips everyone

After a head injury my short term memory was rubbish and I became generally scatterbrained but learned some coping tools that could be useful for you. I also have ADHD!

Have a little list up above the sink reminding you what needs to be done / where things go.

Get into the habit of whenever you get up from the sofa or move rooms, take an extra 30 seconds to look around you and see if anything needs picking up or moving.

To be fair to him, it's miserable working from home in an open plan space when there is mess or clutter especially when it is caused by someone else.

I know it doesn't come naturally to you but meet him in the middle by trying to put in place some little reminders. Creating structure and routine is key for becoming better at cleaning and tidying IMO.