I've finally left. Please send strength to keep me away!

[HelpMeStayAway]

I walked out of my marriage a few days ago after years of emotional and verbal abuse, the last few years has been in front of our toddler son.

Since leaving I've found things out that I didn't know about him. It seems that all this time of thinking it was my fault that he was depressed and angry (he left his hometown to move in with me) and all the things that have happened to him in the last 5 years (parents both passing away, ill health etc.) have made him this way, he has actually been like this since he was a teenager. I finally believe it's not my fault.

A couple of days ago I had a phonecall asking me when I was going back and saying that he was going to kill himself if our marriage ended. The police have been involved and he is no longer allowed to contact me.

It's so hard keeping strong. I've always gone back in the past and things have been better for a while but I can't have our son (who he is now questioning is his) growing up thinking this is normal behaviour. It's easier to do it for him than for me.

I left the family home (rented) and I can't go back to get things as I don't want to see him. Can he be made to move out?

Apologies for the long post. It's been a long time coming!

Also make sure you change the passwords to everything.

If you can backup the things you have on your phone, you could just do a factory reset which will remove any nasties. Make sure you save all the abusive messages as they'll count as evidence should you need them.

Regarding the tenancy agreement, you could always ask for a copy from the estate agents.

@CheshireChat

Also make sure you change the passwords to everything.

If you can backup the things you have on your phone, you could just do a factory reset which will remove any nasties. Make sure you save all the abusive messages as they'll count as evidence should you need them.

Regarding the tenancy agreement, you could always ask for a copy from the estate agents.

Thank you, today I will sort out my phone and look into the tenancy agreement.

I also think I'll need to look into getting some counselling at some point. I've always gone back in the past (although I've never even gone overnight before and it's been a week now) and I also don't want to fall for this type of control again in the future

You could try the freedom programme as a starting point.

@category12

You could try the freedom programme as a starting point.

I've had a look. There aren't any running in my area but there are a couple not too far away so I'll see if I can book onto those. I'm determined to keep going and not to fall into old habits