Not sure what to do? Advice pls

[Givemeabreak88]

I was with my ex and he was abusive, he had a child but didn’t tell me when we first met. I found out after I became pregnant (early on and unplanned.) When his ex found out I was pregnant she stopped contact with his child (I had never met her or his child) he left it and never tried again after that. Over the years I was never allowed to mention his child as he would get angry and start and it just wasn’t worth it. Like I said the relationship was abusive and it was my first relationship so took a while to see it and get out of it (we have other children) the relationship ended a few years ago but the thing is I have never told the kids about their half sibling as it seemed pointless knowing they wouldn’t have any contact. As it happens their dad doesn’t bother with them anymore (stopped bothering when me and him ended as he was only interested in them if he could see me) I don’t know what to do for the best as part of me thinks it’s pointless telling them but obviously I don’t want to keep it from them either. I don’t know what to do for the best, has anyone been in this situation?

Put this to the back of your mind until the kids are older and mature enough to decide/handle it.
You will have to explain to them about their dad anyway so you can explain it all in one go.
It sounds like his ex is a piece of work anyway, seeing as she’s not contacted you about the kids having a relationship. So you know what the answer would be anyway.
This isn’t your fault.
The main thing is you and your kids deserve better and are out of that toxic relationship. Stay clear of the drama. It sounds like bringing them into your life will just cause pain and drama. You don’t need it.
Just concentrate on you and your child. Work on yourself so you don’t fall into an abusive relationship again.
You are doing great.

I agree I wouldnt worry about it just now. You can tell kids in time when they need to know. Well done for escaping him.

It sounds like his ex is a piece of work anyway, seeing as she’s not contacted you about the kids having a relationship

Man has no contact with any of his children. Yet the mother’s at fault for not what exactly? Creating a relationship with her child and other chilldren she doeant know by a woman she doesnt know?

Yeah fucking women.

I’m glad to hear I’m doing the right thing, I honestly don’t think there is any benefit to them knowing. Just read a few things recently about half siblings etc that had me questioning whether I was making the right decision, I will stick to my original plan and won’t tell them until they are much older. Thanks

When his ex found out I was pregnant she stopped contact with his child (I had never met her or his child) he left it and never tried again after that.

More likely he lied and stopped seeing the child in exactly the same way he's stopped seeing yours.

No she definitely stopped contact. He showed me if the messages, I doubt he faked them, she sent him a lot of abuse including towards me (never met her) but he should have tried so not defending him, but I do know the contact was stopped by her.