I don’t think I’m asking too much

[Howlongcanthisgoon]

I have 2 kids. One has some sensory issues and is possibly asd or at least has traits.
This morning she was struggling to get dressed and screamed in my face. She was persuaded to get dressed but then continued to be rude and abusive to me over breakfast. Her brother added to the mix by being a 10 year old boy and using her socks to mop up something on the kitchen table (sock not in feet at this point)
Husband is in bed drinking tea (I get up every morning. He drinks tea until 9:30) I go to him and tell him I’m not coping. He barks at me that it’s my fault. I snap at him. Now he’s not talking to me. Despite apologizing for snapping. I tried to explain I needed support and he told me that means my apology for snapping is insincere. I’m making excuses. I’m being a bitch.
I think I’m done.
This is not our only issue but is indicative of our life.

I wouldn’t mind making the tea for him but I would mind being yelled at when I’m feeling overwhelmed with the dcs while he’s sitting back doing nothing.

Obviously there’s more wrong in the relationship and this was the small thing to make you snap at him. I’d talk to him and let him know things would have to change or it’s time to move on.

@widespreadpanic You wouldn't mind making the tea while he has a lie in every day?

If you can't stand up to him, then just leave the twat! The only thing he's adding to your life is your mental health issues. I'm fairly sure if you left him your mental health would improve 10 fold.

Kids are a pain in the arse sometimes, but trust me, it's easier to deal with them if you don't have a lazy twat of a husband that you have to pander to and won't let you enjoy yourself (ie put music on ffs)

I'd be adding laxatives to the abusive horrors morning cuppa.

I think you need to teach to citizens advice/gingerbread etc for practical advice

Make a plan honey, you are not alone; you have all these wonderful women shaking their pom poms for you, and mumsnet doesn’t sleep so any hour of the day and you get back here for advice/ reassurance!
Completely agree about the tea (although I’d deffo spit in it). Get your secret ducks in a row and try to put some cash away on the sly so you’ve got a little to fall back on if the master plan goes to shit
Speak to women’s aid definitely, there’s no pressure to take any action with them as an organisation but they will reassure you and advise you on what help they/other organisations may be able to provide.
I’d also use the free half an hour of advice from multiple solicitors if you can.

Also wanted to say; I was the child of two parents who weren’t right for each other (my dad is an arsehole like your DP) and years down the line I asked my mum why she stayed and she said ‘for you two’ (my sister and I) and I can honestly say I wish she didn’t. However what I’m getting at is -my sister and I have wonderful relationships with our husbands so don’t worry that your DP being a prick will automatically mean your daughter will have low standards.

Have a little smile to yourself every time he’s a twat, you’ll know your plotting his demise from his cushty life of having a tea slave and verbal punchbag.

Who the fuck begrudges someone for playing music?! Let alone if that person is cooking THEIR dinner. CF.

Good luck with your master plan, honey!