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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Single mum

3 replies

Lostcause24 · 06/10/2020 13:29

I have an 11 month old son, 2 weeks ago i sensed my now ex has been off with me, distant, when hugging me stiff no affection, only getting close to me once a week when he wanted sex & constantly on his phone. He said hes always on his phone as its to do with work but to be honest i wasn't buying it. Last week after taking our son to the doctors he hadnt really said two words to me. As we were walking in the front door our new neighbour who is beautiful & blonde her dog came running over & in those two minutes he spent making conversation she had more chat out of him then i did all day. So that night i went to bed early as he was on his phone again & when he followed me up & got comfy in bed about to put on a series, i asked him “Are you happy?” There was a huge pause & he looked away starring at the wall. So i sat up & said im not happy & i haven't been for a long time. He told me we had nothing in common anymore, he only proposed to me a month ago acting on impulse as his words were. He told me hes not a family man & knows now he will never get married. I was taking back but i had my answers in his answers. I didnt say nothing else just asked him to be gone in the morning. What i wanted to say was this is your 3rd child & i am your 3rd baby mother & only now you have realised your not a family man? But i never because whats the point. Im so hurt i spent 6 years with him gave him everything & a child, he didnt help me with our son hence i was to tired to have sex & not just that if i dont feel love from him why would i have sex with him. I dont know the point in my post, im just angry & upset that he walked out with no hesitation, not even a second glance back , no fire in his stomach to fight for us

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 06/10/2020 13:42

He's a waste of space.

Ultimately he's lied to you and 2 other women. I hope he pays CSA. He's a piece of shit.

Lostcause24 · 06/10/2020 13:58

@TrollTheRespawnJeremy i know more fool me right, although its only been two wks he has given me money for our son but so he should. Im left to run the house run the car look after the baby & everything else that goes with it. He has been seeing the baby every two days at the house helping bath & a quick play time before bed. Ive acted unphased by him for the sake of the dignity i have left. Today he messaged his exact words “ How are you, you ok just thought I'd check up on you I know we aren't in a relationship anymore but I would like to think we can be mates for coltons sake” i messaged back “We will be” it is what it is i suppose

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 06/10/2020 14:05

From my own experience, I know acting unfazed can help to keep your emotions in check- but he's getting away with this Scot-free.

It should be uncomfortable for him.

I'd consider whether you want him in your space every 2 days etc. Put something formal in place that suits you- not for him to be able to pop in on a whim when it suits him to be a father.

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