Should I forgive - forget and be friends?

[deesdeli]

My ex partner has cheated on me, I found out he had gone on holiday with this woman and was planning a second one before I found out.
This woman was fully aware he had a partner.

We broke up and he went straight to her but then came back to me as things did not go well with them and he found he had nowhere to live. I let him live with me whilst he sorted his life out but during this time he convinced me to give things another go.

We broke up again and he went back to the same woman.
Like history repeating things started go terribly for him - not just with this woman but he lost his job etc.
Like a fool I allowed him to stay with me but have since kicked him out as I discovered more to the story between them.

He now wants to be friends and says he wants to rebuild the trust and prove that I can trust him - just as friends.

I realise that both times he went back we were not technically together but I feel so humiliated and such a fool for letting him back in. I am also furious with the other woman but realise there is nothing I can do about her.

I am at a loss what to do as I still have feelings for him but know I do not love him

• Should I try and be friends?

NO!

No. Focus on growing a brain.

Friends care about you, and dont treat you like shit, so were is he a friend, he doesn't care about you, your blinkered. He's using you, open your eyes and respect yourself more

No, ditch him entirely and rebuild your life without him.

Get some self respect and tell him to do one....pronto

He isn't your friend.

No. He wants to be ‘friends’ so he can sleep with you when he has no one else.

Do you have children? If so ‘civil’ is as far as I’d go. If not, block him on everything and focus on moving on with your life.

No.

If he tells you what time it is check your watch.

No. He's untrusty and unreliable.

What does the word friend mean to you @deesdeli?

Would you expect to have any friends if you treated your friends the way this piss poor partner treated you?

Get this idiot out of your life once and for all

@MzHz

What does the word friend mean to you *@deesdeli*?

Would you expect to have any friends if you treated your friends the way this piss poor partner treated you?

Get this idiot out of your life once and for all

This.

"Stealing her right to be a grandmother"

She can fuck the fuck off and fuck off twice as much and keep fucking off at this!

She doesn't have a right to be a grandmother- what absolute bullshit.

Being a grandmother is a consequence of her having offspring who go on to have their own offspring. That's not a right, that's a descriptive word for who she is in relationship to your child.

Things that grandmothers have a right to;

Things that grandmothers don't have a right to;

Telling anybody about their daughter's pregnancy without their daughter's express permission - especially during first 12 weeks.

Telling people who have been and will be abusive to her daughter, anything at all about her.

Giving her daughter's contact details to ANYBODY without her daughter's express permission.

Giving her daughter's contact details to abusive people who she knows her daughter has gone no contact with.

I'm not surprised your husband has had enough of her. And I'm not surprised that you are considering going low contact.

Sorry clearly the wrong thread

No, of course not. He's repeatedly treated you like shit and you've allowed him to. Tell him you need some time and space before you can be friends, then block and delete him on every conceivable platform and never, ever contact him again.

Absolutely not. Why would you want an arsehole like that as a friend? That isnt a friend, it's more like... herpes. You get rid of it one place and it bounces back in another.

Also, he doesn't want to be your friend. He just wants to hang around waiting for an 'in'. Probably when you're having a weak day. Then he'll pounce.

He was using narcissistic triangulation - playing two women off against one another. And will continue to given half a chance.

Dont let him hoover you back. Check out melanie tonia Evansvideos on narcissists on YouTube. She does a good one about 9 hoovering tactics tried by narcissists, in order to form their way back in. Keep watch for those.

Don't go near him with a barge poll.

Thank you all.
I thought I was going mad to say no to him but just shows how manipulative he can be.

Would love to get him and the other woman back! However I am sure that they will get what they deserve the pair of them.

Who would want to be friends with a twat like that?

Yeah, no.

Has he behaved like a friend?

Or has he behaved like someone who doesn’t give a shit about you, your feelings, your trust?

For Christ’s sake dump him and block with complete confidence!

She still has to see him, that's punishment enough. He probably makes her feel paranoid that he is still into you all the time. Shitty way to live. Leave them to it.

It is so sad that women do this to other women and then claim to have done nothing wrong. Dont get me wrong he is to blame but I also thinks it takes two to tango and the other woman (if you can call her that) was fully aware of what they were doing.

I am just enraged that people can treat other people like this!

It’s a big NO

He only wants to be able to look at himself in the mirror (or to the world) and say "see I can't be that bad of a person if we're still friends."

Your friendship means nothing more to him than minimising his shitty behaviour.