Dating woes - sympathy please?!

[Picktionary]

Hello, lovely vipers. Any chance I can check in for some selfish handholding?

I feel like i have been a bit daft and won't appreciate the rational advice that I am given. However, let me try at least.

Met a new guy ... he told me on 2nd or 3rd date that he actually living with his ex (separating , separate rooms etc). I did pull him up on it but let it go because he was honest and up front after a couple of dates and I liked him.

Fast forward a few weeks..... we are quite close... seen each other and spoken to each other a lot, talked about wanting to try long term (as in dating, not short term fling)... we seem to be a good match - everything was chill and cool. I have been looking for someone for years so this was a nice surprise.

Now it turns out his ex is pissed off he has been coming out (she assumes to see a girl).

Apparently they need to divorce and he needs to leave the house and put the kids first.

I'm thrown, as I am now terrified that he is going to dump me ...

I am feeling rotten and worried.

I didnt do anything wrong or mean for this to happen or cause problems in his / his exs house.

I just swiped a guy on Bumble who said he was after a relationsip and fell for him. I feel like I am a little attached now and feel really shit. I feel like he is going to drag me along in his divorce for months OR I have to step back (completely or partially) and so I either way I am now going to struggle.

I have tried to be careful (with feelings).
Feeling gutted.
And scared he wont see this as a big issue or understand why I am upset (or won't care) as he is still committed to prioritising his ex.(Obviously he has to put his kids first 100% always).

There are a LOT of more suitable guys out there.

Yeah, I haven't been able to find them. Kinda pissed off at him. He presented it as he was free.

I don't understand, surely their plan was to get divorced and no longer live together anyway?

I don't think it's ever worth dating a man who is still living with his ex. Yes, you would get dragged along to his divorce circus and no doubt it would be a miserable, draining experience.

Yeah, I think some issues about finance/house issues. Not been through a divorce myself but I dont think agreement about stuff could be reached and thats why it dragged on? Didnt interrogate as early days and trusted ....

Honest and up front would have been telling you on the first date. He didn't tell you because he knew his life was complicated and it would (rightly) put you off.

Carry on seeing him if you want but I would suggest to him that he needs to sort his current situation out first. When he is properly single, he can start thinking about his next long term relationship. Right now, I'm sorry to say, looking to jump into another ltr before he has properly finished the last once, just smacks of desperation.

Hey. I just wanted to say you've not actually done anything wrong here, and from what he is saying neither has he. If his ex is annoyed then that's kind of up to her as long as it properly is his ex, it's sort of between them and for him to manage.
Maybe you could try asking him outright if he is actually free to see other people and tell him how you're feeling about it. Obviously you want to avoid being dragged through anything and left hurt so my suggestion would be get it all out in the open now so that you are in the best place to decide how or if you move forward. Ask him to be honest (I know it doesn't always work but if you're calm and ask non-judgey type way he might be willing to tell it how it is so you get the proper answers)
Hope it works out for you whatever you decide.