what is the most loving thing your DP has done for you?

treatspies · 2020-10-04T17:26:43+00:00

Asking beyond the ‘he gets me a twix every Friday because I love them’ ...though I know those things matter too! I don’t really have anything significant to recall as I’ve only had one good relationship. I’m hopeful there are other good men out there!

sapnupuas · 04/10/2020 18:32

He puts my pjs on the radiator when it's chilly.

AnotherEmma · 04/10/2020 18:35

It's not one thing, it's more what he does every day. He's not good at romantic gestures but he does everyday things to take care of me and our children. The big thing is that he does the vast majority of the meal planning, food shopping and cooking, which I appreciate hugely. He more than pulls his weight and fully participates in family life - to me that's a huge sign of his love and commitment; he wouldn't rather be doing his own thing like some men.

He's thoughtful with gifts, too, and occasionally buys me chocolate cake without me having to ask

redvest · 04/10/2020 18:36

He makes sure my car has water, petrol and the tyres are inflated.

dudsville · 04/10/2020 18:38

Listen and remember. This was the thing that hooked me. He heard my story once and remembered all of it, and still does, but his current listening for much less important things isn't great!

beelzeboob · 04/10/2020 18:38

After the worst week of my life he spends every day making sure I’m ok, listening to me, holding me, stroking my hair, cooking, tidying, the works

AnotherEmma · 04/10/2020 18:41

@dudsville

Listen and remember. This was the thing that hooked me. He heard my story once and remembered all of it, and still does, but his current listening for much less important things isn't great!

Lol, I could have written this!

When I first met DH I was struck by how interested he was in listening to what I had to say (genuinely and not just because he was trying to get into my pants, he was a bit slow with that ) and that he remembered. It's probably a good test of whether they're a keeper or not.

BigcatLittlecat · 04/10/2020 18:43

We had not been together long and my Grandmothers funeral was going to be on the Friday. It was my school inspection that week. I was going to leave work on thursday and drive 4 hours to where the funeral was being held to meet my family. I had only had my car for 6 weeks! It was all super stressful! But he picked me up from work, drove me there and then drove back! He arrived home at 2 in the morning. He never says he loves me but it's in all the little things he does!

IHeartKingThistle · 04/10/2020 18:57

I was ill for a lot of DS's first year, starting when DS was 4 months old. DH got up every night with that baby until he started sleeping through at 11 months, went to work every day and never once complained he was tired. He pisses me off in many small ways but the man steps up.

Mixitupalot · 04/10/2020 19:01

He’s been with me through the worst of possible times, I had awful PND and it took me years to get well again. He helps out everyday & works hard. I have a gem.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 04/10/2020 19:06

it wasn't one thing, it was lots of little things. Like waiting with me at the stage door in the snow so I could meet the singer I had had a crush on since I was a teenager. Seeing a book or a pair of socks or something that he thought I would appreciate, and buying them for me as a treat just because. Giving me the nicest looking bit of meat he was dishing up. Dyeing my hair even though he was a postie not a hairdresser. Meeting me from work at lunch time, taking me to buy a pork and stuffing batch and sitting in the car at a beauty spot to eat it if it was raining or on a bench if it was fine, then dropping me back at work. Sometimes surprising me by getting the train from the Midlands to London to meet me from work and taking me to the South Bank for drinks then getting the last train home, when I started working in London. Letting me vent about my (frankly ridiculous) annoyances at work even while he was having chemo. And then worrying about how his illness was affecting me.

I just knew that he loved me deeply, and I loved him (I still do even though he is no longer here).

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 04/10/2020 19:09

Oh and once there was severe bad weather and i was working in London, and had to travel directly to Darlington for a meeting the next day. The trains all stopped running and conditions were treacherous. He drove all the way from the Midlands to London, collected me, and drove me to Darlington so I wouldn't miss the meeting. I got him to stay in my hotel so he didn't have to drive back home, but it was such a kind and caring thing.

AnotherEmma · 04/10/2020 19:12

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners
He sounds wonderful, what lovely memories. I'm very sorry for your loss

FLOrenze · 04/10/2020 19:13

Cleaned the toilet after I was sick, ran me a shower, found my pyjamas, changed the bed, tucked me up, and went to the shop in the rain for my lemonade.

Galwaygirl · 04/10/2020 19:13

Little things! Makes sure the car is full of diesel always, heats the car on cold mornings, cleans ds ears and cuts their nails, empties dishwasher and pays the bills, cleans the fire and has the logs in all the time

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 04/10/2020 19:19

anotheremma thanks, he was the kindest, most generous person I have ever known. He was lovely.

maxineputyourredshoeson · 04/10/2020 19:24

I genuinely don’t know where to start, I have a truly amazing DH. He gave up work to become my full time carer when I became to ill to work. He looks after me and the DD’s, does everything around the house and never moans. He always has a smile on his face. He isn’t romantic at all but will come back from the shops with my favourite chocolate bar/ice cream/sweets/fruit and every evening without fail he will give me a foot rub, just because.

He holds me when I cry through pain or frustration. He has literally saved my life by finding me when I tried to commit suicide. He has been patient with me when my anxiety means I’m begging him not to leave the house to get food from the supermarket. He just knows what to say and do.

He makes me laugh until my cheeks hurt.

But above all he still treats me as his equal. I really am very lucky, I know some relationships wouldn’t have survived but we make it work.

wannabebetter · 04/10/2020 19:27

When my dad died unexpectedly he got straight in the car & drove all night to be there ( dad & me were in Wales, him in NI) even though he knew would have to go back the next day for work - I've actually never told him just how much it meant just to hug him, will tell him now

Dillo10 · 04/10/2020 19:36

So far he's supported me through three years of being very unwell, both mentally and physically, with the kind of care and patience that goes beyond what I believed true love could be. When I am better I'll spend my whole life making it up to him.

LilyWater · 04/10/2020 20:10

@maxineputyourredshoeson

I genuinely don’t know where to start, I have a truly amazing DH. He gave up work to become my full time carer when I became to ill to work. He looks after me and the DD’s, does everything around the house and never moans. He always has a smile on his face. He isn’t romantic at all but will come back from the shops with my favourite chocolate bar/ice cream/sweets/fruit and every evening without fail he will give me a foot rub, just because.

He holds me when I cry through pain or frustration. He has literally saved my life by finding me when I tried to commit suicide. He has been patient with me when my anxiety means I’m begging him not to leave the house to get food from the supermarket. He just knows what to say and do.

He makes me laugh until my cheeks hurt.

But above all he still treats me as his equal. I really am very lucky, I know some relationships wouldn’t have survived but we make it work.

This is so lovely and heartwarming!

Flowersmakemyday · 04/10/2020 20:18

This week he has sat with my dying mother overnight, staying awake so I had the confidence to fall asleep on the camp bed in her room and in the early hours of Saturday morning he woke me to tell me she had stopped breathing.

MJMG2015 · 04/10/2020 20:31

@Flowersmakemyday

This week he has sat with my dying mother overnight, staying awake so I had the confidence to fall asleep on the camp bed in her room and in the early hours of Saturday morning he woke me to tell me she had stopped breathing.

What a lovely man 💕

I'm very sorry to hear about your Mother 🌷

sapnupuas · 04/10/2020 20:46

Thought of a better one.

Our anniversary is in December so we decided to "celebrate" but spending the day at some Christmas markets. I really wanted to go to Bath but my husband insisted on going to Birmingham. I didn't want to go to Birmingham as I was there every fortnight for three years while studying but he'd made up his mind.

Separate to this, I'd seen a piece of jewellery I really wanted and was going to buy online. Turns out my husband researched where had this particular store so I could see it in person and he could buy it for our anniversary, and that's why he wanted to go to Birmingham.

I didn't even like to bracelet in real life after all, so it really worked out in my favour!

uglyface · 04/10/2020 20:57

A myriad of tiny things like defrosting my car before I leave for work, random chocolates when I've had a bad day and making pancakes every Sunday morning.

He also supported me through my postgrad qualification, building my career and even enthusiastically had a child in his mid 40s because he knew I'd be a great mum and didn't want me to choose between that and my career.

There's a bit of an age gap between us, and every day I worry that I'd not be able to live without this perfect (for me) man, my soulmate.

Angrymum22 · 04/10/2020 21:10

When we were in the early stages of our relationship I was diagnosed with endometriosis and DH, then bf, sensed I had misgivings about continuing in a relationship when I was potentially infertile. He quietly told me that we could always adopt. I think it was at this point I realised I was in love with him.
We've been through some tough times together, this year has been one of them but I hope we get through this as well.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 04/10/2020 21:15

Not me, but an ex with his DW.

We were all at an event together. He helped her into her coat (so far, so normal), but then lifted her hair out of her coat so it wouldn't pull when they walked to the station. Right there and then, I saw how much he loved her, after 15 years.

For me, it was the time my DP got back out of the car to come and open the door for me - I was stood there like Hyancinth Bucket. It was force of habit, because my DSis's car could only be opened from the inside (and I was more used to being in her car). But it was so sweet, it earned untold brownie points.

He's shielding at the mo, but every time we have a video chat, he wears something I've bought him.