Telling family friends about split, or letting kids tell their friends?

[likeamother]

I may be overthinking this and know not everything can be perfectly planned, but keen to help DC as much as possible in this transition.

We told them yesterday we were separating. It went really well and they seem fine, though I know there will be some tough times ahead.

I haven't told any mum friends because I didn't want to risk their kids overhearing a husband and wife discussion about us and feeding back to the kids. So now, do I tell them or leave it for DC to maybe tell their friends, which will then filter back to the parents (probably)?

This feels like maybe the best thing to do, so the DC have more control, rather than their buddy approaching them about it, 'so your mummy and daddy aren't going to live together now?' kind of thing.

My only hesitation is would it be helpful for their friends to be given an appropriate explanation by their parents so they understand too and won't have a big reaction if DC do tell them? I guess this is what I should do in a week or so if the DC haven't told friends anyway?

Please just tell me what seems best as I'm obviously too close to see the wood for the trees They're 7 and 4 and I'm messaging the teachers so they'll be aware.

I don't imagine they will be discussing it at length unless one of you has been shagging the headteacher on the village green. fair point -- and we haven't.

Thank you, thought I probably was overthinking but obviously their wellbeing around all of this matters the most to me so wanted to do all I could to help.

I think their friends' parents will discuss it because we previously socialised together lots as families and I just know they are a bit 'chatty' in this way. But yes, will leave the kids to it and tell local friends in the next couple of weeks as I feel ready then.

I agree with @Honeybobbin and I am sorry you and your family are going through this. You have done the right thing though by not telling the children to keep it a secret from their friends and letting them deal with it in their own way. This happened to a friend of my DD. She did secretly confide in my DD, but I think it isolated her.

Ah that is sad, I'd hate for them to feel it was something they shouldn't talk about or was in any way something to feel guilty about discussing. At the moment they are very excited but I'm sure confused too, or at least will be at points.

It’s lovely that you have your children’s best interests at heart but I agree that you don’t need to do anymore now.

Glad to hear the village green remains unscathed!

and thanks @SunbathingDragon