I have to let to know what is right.

[talltreewessex]

I’m quite madly in love with my partner, I find him funny, he’s very sexy and really intelligent. Good job, amazing family etc etc.

But something just isn’t right. We’ve had breaks and I sort of miss him but I’m just feeling something isn’t genuine.

We’ve agreed to part but I’m worried I’m making a bad decision and will regret it.

But. I have to let go to know what is right. It’s a risk and I might lose him forever, but I cannot keep going through this cycle.

For the record. I hate auto correct!! 🤬

Don't we all? It sounds to me that you've made a brave decision that many people should have made but didn't, with bad consequences down the line. If course it's a risk, no one can be sure, least of all us. Good luck and enjoy the excitement of the new

Is he kind? Does he care for you? Admire you, inspire you to be better than you are without him? Do you feel able to relax and be your true self around him?

These things are more important IME than sexy, intelligent, good job etc. If they aren't there, you've made the right decision :)

Do you have an attachment disorder or trauma from childhood that makes relationships difficult for you?

You should get some objective test if it’s you or him or the combination.

If you keep having breaks then clearly the relationship is not working. break up for good and stop the cycle of pain

Sarahandduck18 Your comment isn’t based on any fact or knowledge. You just jumped right in with the biggest finger pointed at me and something easy to hang it off.

You are rude and naive to think that it’s actually impossible for someone to be unhappy in a relationship due to something other than your drug-store psychology? Whoever you are, just go away. This is about love, harmony and compatibility.

Wow OP, Sarahandduck was asking a relevant question

Your response to her suggests you may well be someone who does have issues relating to others. And there’s no shame in having issues - it’s good to acknowledge them and move forwards.

As to your relationship, it sounds as if ending it and moving on was the best idea.

*Sarahandduck18 Your comment isn’t based on any fact or knowledge. You just jumped right in with the biggest finger pointed at me and something easy to hang it off.

You are rude and naive to think that it’s actually impossible for someone to be unhappy in a relationship due to something other than your drug-store psychology? Whoever you are, just go away. This is about love, harmony and compatibility.*

Well, that went downhill quicker than I anticipated...

OP - if you want to break up because it's not right, do it and own it. It sounds like it's the right thing to do. Doing it and then lamenting because you're really star-crossed lovers destined to be together forever is pants.

@talltreewessex. Your response to Sarah was rude. She asked a valid non-agressive question probing whether there are any underlying issues that are causing you to feel that relationship isn’t right when on paper it ticks all the boxes. By overreacting to her perfectly polite question then anyone reading this thread will now realise that you’re the issue here.

I thought Sarah's post was a reasonable consideration.

Ouch! I think you need to stand back a read what you wrote there OP. It was a very unnecessarily nasty response to a question.

@talltreewessex

Sarahandduck18 Your comment isn’t based on any fact or knowledge. You just jumped right in with the biggest finger pointed at me and something easy to hang it off.

You are rude and naive to think that it’s actually impossible for someone to be unhappy in a relationship due to something other than your drug-store psychology? Whoever you are, just go away. This is about love, harmony and compatibility.

She actually has a really good point as I'm in this position where due to abuse I have to try really hard to make sure I connect, it isn't easy.

I think you've had a knee jerk reaction, you asked for help and are rejecting a perfectly reasonable question.

This is about love, harmony and compatibility.

Well, we can't help you with that - the two of you need to decide whether you are compatible and can love and live harmoniously. You've not provided enough information to indicate what the problems could be.

DH and I have, since the very beginning, never been afraid of airing our differences. However we have never had a break in the 30years we have been together. We have always managed to talk things through and work on the problem and crucially move forward.
To me this is the basis of a loving relationship. By breaking up you are just resetting to the start and just keep repeating without moving forward.
All relationships need compromise and your reaction to a pp above suggests that you are not open to criticism constructive or otherwise, so relationships will be a struggle. If it’s always your way or the highway most people will take the highway I’m afraid.

What doesn’t seem right? Why do you keep breaking up?

I feel there’s not much info to give advice except to say if it doesn’t feel right then that’s enough reason to move on.

I also think Sarahandduck18 asked a very legitimate question and didn't point the finger at you at all.

I have to say judging by your response to a non accusatory post, you come across as defensive, rude and immature and I'm inclined to believe the issues in your relationship lie with you, if that's anything to go by.