Growing up with both parents unemployed?

[namechange0310]

Did anyone else grow up with both parents being unemployed? My DM and my DF were both unemployed from when I was around 7 up until I was 21. I don't want to go into the reasons why they were unemployed but there were health and mental health reasons which contributed.

If you did grow up with unemployed parents, how do you think it has affected you?

For me, I think it has definitely given me really low self-esteem. I used to lie to friends that my parents had jobs and worked from home (my DM told me to say this). I remember so many conversations with my friends when we were teenagers where they talked badly about "benefit scroungers" and I just sat there quietly knowing my entire life from the age of 7 had been paid for my benefits.

I am 23 and graduated university, got a job and then lost the job due to COVID and I have had to start claiming universal credit and it is making me feel hopeless like I am destined to repeat the cycle and never progress or advance in life.

@namechange0310 you sound great OP. Well done for all you've achieved. This is just a set back. Once you're back working, I would recommend putting money aside and really researching a good therapist who specialises in self esteem and childhood trauma / parental relationships.

Thank you for this thread OP. Made me think about my self esteem and the under-employed and under-achiever side of me.
My DDad never worked from when he was 39. But he wasn’t on benefit. Family was quite wealthy. My mum went to work for a bit later on in life, to get out of the house at first and then because she had to. It still had a big impact. Because a) lots of undiagnosed depression - always on the sofa watching tv b) money not earned run out and it also means there is no planning ahead, growth and instead constant worry c) there is no positive role model that shows you and teach you how to be in the working world, how to value yourself and how to demand what you deserve.

I worked all my life and love working but I am def an underachiever. I use 1/10th of my potential.

This has made me think, so thank you.

Ps: I have achieved a lot more than they had, mind you. But know Not remotely what I could have. I def feel something is holding memback. But you are younger than me OP so explore these element and work through them earlier so that they may not affect you as much

My parents were the exact same. I used to tell people they worked, avoided having friends found to my house & had 3 paper rounds since being 13, then at 15 got a holiday job, 16 got a before and after school/college job, went to university whilst working 40 hours a week ..

It's shit. I still feel like I have to prove myself and I do think it's effected me. All my friends in school had disposable income and I used to be invited on familiar holidays with them but could never return the offering.

My parents used to do Christmas from the catalogues and I looked so lucky/spoilt on Christmas Day but it was all debt. I'm so tight with cash now/don't like spending money and my husband hates it. And then I hate Christmas because I feel like whatever I buy somebody isn't good enough, but on the other hand I don't agree with getting into debt to show somebody you love them. It's a minefield and I hate my birthday and Christmas now .. I just hope my little girl doesn't grow up the same.