I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We are parents and have the home etc. But I am sick of life. I love him so much as a friend. As a lover he no longer is enough. We have stopped doing anything together. We live together and we care for our kids. He works in the spare room due to the covid situation. We've had sex three times since my son was born almost three years ago. We've not had sex once in 14 months. I don't feel that way about him anymore. It's not that I've not wanted too. But after a year of him falling asleep on the spare bed or downstairs. The kids interrupting and stuff too I just don't feel a relationship kind of feeling with him anymore.
He's got no go in him. Always tired. Always aching. Always moaning. He will do anything for the kids. He will do anything for me in regards to being kind in general. But he has become so dull. He never says come on let's go for a walk. Hes never bouncy. He's never energetic.
I've spent the last few weeks taking my son for walks and hanging about in the front garden because it gives me the chance to chat to other adults. How sad is that?
My parents live up the road and round the corner! They are never here. We are never invited there. I always have to be the one who goes to them. Lately I've been sick of chasing after them. So we've not seen then for ages. Covid obviously hasn't helped. My partner's parents favour their daughters child Which is apparently a very common thing. So they don't spend anytime with us either.
I have a couple of wonderful friends but covid has complicated how often we can meet.
Then to top it off I have got feelings for someone else who has feelings for me too. Neither of us have said it out loud but there's clearly something. I think he's hesitating to open up because I'm with someone. But I feel like pouring my feelings out to him. I just wish there was a way out of all this.
Feeling so lost guys!