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Original poster

Is it too late?

15 replies

Hellin301 · 02/10/2020 18:42

So I’m turning 30 this year and I’ve found myself single. Not a position I’d thought I’d be in.

My ex swiftly moved on to someone new he met online within a month of our breakup. I’ve been on a few dating apps and haven’t had much luck.

I’m really beginning to lose hope that I’ll ever meet anyone. It’s caused me a lot of anxiety recently and I can’t help but be down about it.

Please tell me some positive stories

OP posts:
Bunnymumy · 02/10/2020 19:27

Think of it this way, if you meet someone now that you intend to stick with...you could be with them for 50+ years. ...maybe it's just me but - that sounds depressing as hell haha.

I'm 31, I spent years thinking about how nice it would be to be in a solid relationship. Now adays I finally realise that all that would bring is a shit ton of extra work and constraints. I'm gonna enjoy whats left of my youth and shag everything cute guy that comes my way and have adventures. There will be plenty of time to settle down with an ugly old duffer when I'm an ugly old duffer too haha

Then again, I don't want kids so I guess theres that.

But seriously op, 30 is nothing. Hakuna matata. You'll be fine!

PeachesTheFlamingo · 02/10/2020 19:28

Of course there is hope. Chin up!

You're feeling down now as a result of the end of your relationship and the fact that ex moved on swiftly.. you won't always feel like this.

Here's my tale of woe with a happy ending that should bring you some hope..

I was in a 7 year relationship in my 20's. Found out on my 31st birthday that he was cheating on me. I was devastated. Thought my life was over. It took time, but I got over it. I don't give him a second thought anymore. Don't know what I ever saw in him.

After I had picked myself up, I dated a guy for around 8 months until I found out he was married with a DD! Scumbag!! Angry

It's fair to say my trust in men vanished at that point. I remained happily single for a couple of years, just enjoying my life, spending time with my friends and family.

I then had a go at online dating. Met a guy on Tinder. We hit it off right away and had a whirlwind first couple of dates. I didn't realise at the time but he was "love bombing me". He reeled me in and I was smitten. About 3 months into the relationship, I found out the day after my 35th birthday that he was sleeping with his ex and other women!
(what is it with me finding out men are cheating on me on/near my birthday?!) I walked away but he then harassed me and I had to report him to the police.

At that point, I really did think I was sworn off men forever!!

I stopped looking for love and just focused on myself.

Then, I was introduced to someone through a friend. She wasn't even trying to play cupid. We got chatting, got along really well and exchanged numbers and the rest is history.. Smile I'm now 37, we've been together almost 2 years and our DS is due in March.

So please don't give up. Your ex is not worth you feeling down and anxious. Forget him and concentrate on yourself.

eclipsechips · 02/10/2020 19:30

Don't give up, I met my DH when I was 37 and we got married when I was 39. It's never too late.

lonelySam · 02/10/2020 20:05

I'm almost 40. Enjoy your 30s, these are the best times! Don't let a relationship (or the lack of thereof) define your worth.

Of course you will meet someone, there's still time.

I am starting again now - life is good. It must be - there's no other option. :)

Ruby0707 · 02/10/2020 20:20

I met my current boyfriend at 34 after spending several years single and thinking I would never meet anyone. You have plenty of time!

We met at a wedding so keep yourself busy, accept all social invitations and you never know where someone for you might appear.

Original poster
Hellin301 · 02/10/2020 20:29

Thank you all so much, this has cheered my evening up

OP posts:
Sunflower1970 · 03/10/2020 09:30

I had a couple of 6 year relationships that didn’t work out and found myself single at 34. Spent the next 5 years travelling, a bit of dating - generally having a great time. Met my husband when I was 38 - perfect timing! We got married when I was 46 and it’s bloody wonderful. My advice is relax, enjoy yourself and Don’t feel you have to always take the stereotypical path in life. (The only difference with me is I never wanted children so wasn’t worried about my bio clock!!) x

Angrymum22 · 03/10/2020 10:40

DH and I met in our late 20s early 30s and married mid 30s. We were grown ups by then and still together now mid 50s.

Dery · 03/10/2020 10:45

I was nearly 30 when I met DH; many of my friends met their partners in their mid-30s and nearly all who wanted children went on to have them. You have plenty of time. And your relationship experience means you already have a good idea of what works and what doesn’t work for you in relationships. You’ll be fine.

rainydayslover · 03/10/2020 10:51

I was dumped by text that age after being together for a year. The coward gave me hopes of marrying and wanting a family. I was 30 and single but met an amazing man I fell in love with instantly after a year. We married a 1.5 years later and have a gorgeous dc now and a happy home. Everything happens for a reason. I was meant to be with DH who is an amazing person and also a noble man whereas the coward was a liar, someone who lacked depth of character and was spineless. I felt like you for a longtime until I met DH. When the time is right, that person will come.

IndieTara · 03/10/2020 11:15

@Hellin301 don't fall into the trap of thinking that happiness is only possible when you're in a relationship.

LilyWater · 03/10/2020 12:05

[quote IndieTara]@Hellin301 don't fall into the trap of thinking that happiness is only possible when you're in a relationship.[/quote]
Exactly this.

Men can also sense neediness so you're doubly likely to attract the scumbags if you're like this and also to ignore red flags.

Toffieefee · 03/10/2020 12:18

Try different ways. Make yourself look pretty and go for a walk. Try meet men outside and around you. Dating sites just sound intimidating and forced. It's much nicer to meet someone and make eye contact. The chance of those first natural feelings happening online is slim. There's nothing better than them liking you in the flesh naturally.

Go easy and relax. You've still got it! Treat yourself to some nice clothes, makeup etc. Feel good in yourself and it will happen when you least expect it x

IndieTara · 03/10/2020 13:25

"Try different ways. Make yourself look pretty and go for a walk"
^^

Really? Are we really advocating this as a way to attract a man?

Toffieefee · 03/10/2020 13:30

You could try reading the rest of my post.

I'm telling her to make herself feel good and go out and about. If she meets men in the flesh it's likely more genuine and natural. That's what used to happen before social media and the internet took over.

Do you actually believe dating sites are real? You are bigging yourself up and filtering your face. It's much nicer to meet in the flesh.

I'm not telling her to wear a skirt up her arse and stand on the corner. I'm saying get out in the real world and away from bluddy technology

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