Chrismas ideas please

[ChimChim]

Hello,

Hope you are all keeping well x

2020 has been a tough year for me and OH, we were hoping to have our first little one with us for Christmas this year, sadly, we don't :(

This year, I really feel like I do not want to celebrate, and I just want a quiet christmas. The problem, socials and family get togethers, family stay over is something we do traditionally.

I just don't know how to tell family, I won't be coming/joining/hosting for Christmas this year. I asked OH for support, he is, and he said we will get away. However, I'll be going through IVF, so cannot really go away.

Can you help me with creative ideas on how to manage this Christmas away from everyone ?

Has anyone done this, what do you tell family? Xx

Be honest, explain that it’s been a tough year and that you want to spend a quiet, relaxing Christmas together.
I had fertility problems and suffered multiple miscarriages, one miscarriage coincide with BIL and partner having their first baby over Christmas. DH and I decided to take ourselves out of the family get together, it was too painful with all the excitement and baby talk. MIL was the only one who knew we’d lost a baby and made my life hell because I’d ruined her Christmas ( just one of the many times she has shown her true narcissistic colours).
We had a lovely day, we did visit MILs where the rest of the family were gathered for Christmas Day, but didn’t stay for long.
Thinking back it would have been better to be honest about our reasons but we didn’t want to take the joy out of the imminent arrival of a new family member. It wouldn’t have been fair to “piss on my BIL parade” so to speak. We did receive some unwanted criticism which could have been avoided if MIL hadn’t made it all about her but it was the right choice for us.

you dont have to do anything you dont want and with covid and the rule of 6 and no indoor areas etc... you may have a great excuse too so I would just use that (especially as you are having medical treatment, most hospitals require you to isolate and be covid free for non emergancy treatments)

good luck with IVF