Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggle with trusting OH

6 replies

Bluexoxo · 01/10/2020 22:11

Been with OH for 9 years have a DD who was 7 4 years ago he was acting strangely for months, he said he was depressed and I was taking him to doctors appointments. Two days into the holiday which I had paid half for he told me i was fat and unattractive and he was really tempted to sleep with a lady at work who was flirting with him I was devastated and wanted to fly home but OH refused saying it was too expensive and just enjoy myself. I was heart broken my OH who I thought I could rely on turned into someone I did not recognise.

I was undergoing tests as I was unwell and unable to work it took a while to be diagnosed, he asked me and DD to leave the home and I moved into a horrible council flat. Poorly and alone, I was eventually diagnosed and started treatment I've been in employment for 4 years a good job I feel great, lost weight, have savings and feel amazing.
Around 3 years ago OH asked me to come back to the house put my name on the deeds and start over again around
I always think he just wants me when I'm at my best but at the worst point he couldn't be there for me.

It's been years and I'm still not over it, I'm wondering whether I will ever get over it or if really I'm just holding onto a relationship that should have died.
Has anyone got over a massive betrayal?

OP posts:
category12 · 01/10/2020 22:20

It sounds like he had an affair and when it burned out he asked you back again.

But anyway, no wonder you don't feel you can trust him after he did a complete u-turn on you like that.

It's OK to decide it isn't working for you any more, you don't have to stick it out.

Maze76 · 02/10/2020 09:31

Don’t go back. It sounds like you have just begun to live YOUR life. You say you feel great, have a job and you sound happy... don’t give him the chance to ruin that. If he says he’s changed, let him prove that, but don’t give up what you have achieved on his say so.

Delbelleber · 02/10/2020 10:10

He doesn't deserve you.

LaGallinaLocaX · 02/10/2020 10:22

He didn't deserve you then, at your 'worst' and he doesn't deserve you now.

There is somebody out there who will love you unconditionally, care for you when your sick, support and encourage you, but you won't find them while you're wasting time with that loser.

Sending you hugs, I wasted ten years with someone just like that. Kicked him out 4 years ago and 18months ago met the love of my life x

Alfiemoon1 · 02/10/2020 10:27

Sounds like he had an affair that didn’t work out he’s found out the grass wasn’t greener on the other side so asked you to come back

I would find it hard to get passed maybe try counselling and go from there

Shoxfordian · 02/10/2020 11:04

You really need to work on your self esteem
Did you seriously go back to him when he'd said that to you? Wow
Obviously he's a knob but you should find some therapy to help you avoid similar knobs in the future

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread