I'm not really sure what I want to get out of posting this, i probably need a hand hold or a kick up the ass.
So a bit of background I'm out of a long term emotionally abusive relationship and have a primary age child. Last relationship was 10+ years and I'm early 30s.
I've been messaging a guy for about a month and he's lovely, funny and interesting. We arranged to meet and it went really well. He messaged me like straight away after to say he'd had a great time, do it again etc. But since we met i feel the messages have kinda dwindled a bit and something seems different. I'm prob reading into it. I'm way out of practise on the whole dating thing but have a massive like school girl crush on this guy!! I feel really deflated that he doesn't seem that into me and also kinda worried if it turns out he is. The idea of getting my clothes off infront of anyone petrified me. My ex wasn't one to take no for an answer so ruined my attitude towards sex. I feel if this guy does like me then I prob don't even remember how to do anything!!
I have no self confidence and I know I really need to do something to work on this but I don't know where to start. It's like I genuinely can't see why this guys (he's tall, good looking and just really great) would be interested in me. So I think in my head the messages have changed a bit so obv I was right and he isn't interested. Its like my head knows that I'm not completely repulsive - numbers on the scales etc aren't totally horrendous but then my eyes see what's in the mirror and all I can focus on is what I don't like. I googled trying to improve confidence and it suggested affirmations etc and I just can't imagine standing infront if a mirror telling myself that I'm not totally ugly etc. Does anyone have any other suggestions?