I left my marriage of 25 years just over 18 months ago. During my marriage I was lied to as my XH has gay, I didn't find out until I left but I later found out he had lived a lie for the whole of our marriage. As a result I had my self-confidence knocked as a woman and also I have huge trust issues.
Fast forward, I am now in a relationship with a guy who has moved in with me. My divorce had started but he left his marriage shortly after he met me and started proceedings, his break up was overdue and he states I was the touch paper that made him do it.
One day I asked if I looked at you phone would I see something likely to upset me he said no, but we looked together, there were 2 texts, one was an entry of initials, he initially gave me a guys name then I saw it was a woman's name, the text was a bit of football banter then him asking her for a drink after work one night. The next was more disturbing as he was invited to someone's house for a coffee, he said he'd go round one Friday morning when her kid was at school and one last comment was 'and make an effort'. He later cancelled this due to car trouble. Neither of these meetings went ahead but he stated there was nothing in either and the last one was a long time friend and it was a bit of banter. I was so upset and my trust went out of the window. I wobble a lot and we have argued about these texts a few times, each time he states I thought we had done with this? So I don't want to upset him. I am now in a situation where I feel loved and for the first time in many years I have affection which I am so scared to lose. Yet I feel the need to check his phone. The last time I did I checked his call history and again there were initials of a person he had called (not the same one), I clicked to find more info and to my horror it started ringing, he never mentioned that this person had asked about a 'pocket call' but since then I dare not look (I know I am bad and I should not be looking anyway) but I have no idea who this is unless I call them and obviously cannot ask him for fear of upsetting him, I want this relationship to work so much and he knows my history and why I am like this. I just feel so anxious that he's messaging or even seeing other women and I wouldn't know.