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Original poster

Advice.. am i right to want to break up again?

38 replies

Teaandbisuits99 · 01/10/2020 10:02

Long story sorry...
together 15 years 2 children.
broke up an got back together couple of years ago. Live seperatly but he stays with me mostly. He has own house mortgage half payed off in his name but was our family home for 2 years.
anyway he works away now and came home at weekend, came to mine late and within minutes of coming in he answers his phone talking to a family member for nearly an hour ignoring myself & kids..
I ended up putting kids to bed and had a moan that it was rude of him and he could have taken call any day that week or before he came to mine that night. He didn’t bother saying goodnight to kids.
Next morning i woke to his dirty dishes placed on top of my clean washing so i had a moan about that i was still anoyed from the night before.
we didn’t speak and he spent the whole weekend gaming while i entertained the children. We were supposed to go out for food but oh wouldn’t come up with any ideas on where to go and one place I suggested he said no, another 2 places i called were fully booked so asked him if he can think of anywhere he basically called me stupid and unable to do a simple task of sorting a table.
Final straw was when he was gaming and got angry at our son for knocking his drink over, after being told to be careful ds spilled his glass (by accident) and oh shouted at him to get out the room and threw the cup arcross the room.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 04/10/2020 09:02

He is abusive, he was when you split up, and he is now.

You deserve better than to be called names. Why did you get back together?

TiggerDatter · 04/10/2020 09:39

Can you apply for a bigger council house so your son can have his own room? That’s what he needs, not his loser of a dad.

If he’s supposed to be renovating the other house, why is he gaming all weekend?

Honestly OP, split up again, focus on sorting out your own housing situation for your DC and just leave him to it. He’s no loss.

Original poster
Teaandbisuits99 · 04/10/2020 10:09

Probably lonelyness & thinking it was better for kids

OP posts:
Original poster
Teaandbisuits99 · 04/10/2020 10:10

I tried but can’t until eldest turns 11

OP posts:
DressingGownofDoom · 04/10/2020 10:13

Tell him to get out to fuck and find someone who loves and respects you. What a horrible bastard, my skins crawling at the thought of children being in the house with him.

TiggerDatter · 04/10/2020 10:22

What you’re going through is way worse than being alone - exploitation and disrespect, plus threats to your DC’s wellbeing, are not better than living your own good life, free and self-directing if a little scared (excited?) at times.

It’s over.

dudsville · 04/10/2020 10:27

It sounds like he'll make things difficult, but it also doesn't sound like he loves you, likes or respects you. I'm sorry.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/10/2020 11:10

"He is supposed to be renovating his house in the hope we all move back in time for Christmas but its one delay after another"
That's not a realistic hope, is it? Not just in time for Christmas, but - well, ever.

He's using you and the children for a comfortable bunk because his is "unlivable at the moment as everthing has been ripped out". And he probably felt able to rip everything out and make it unliveable because he knew he could just parachute himself in to your home Sad. He's a user, plain and simple. As Whatisthisfuckery said, "This is not a relationship, he just stays at your house."

I think you need to put a stop to him so much as entering your home. Text him that he's no longer welcome. And if he has a key, change the locks. He has somewhere to go; that house he ripped apart, the one he'll profit on.

AlwaysCheddar · 04/10/2020 15:33

Why are you in a council house when you have a second house? Can you speak to council and get him off the tendency?

Original poster
Teaandbisuits99 · 06/10/2020 18:44

Hes not on tenacy thakfully
I moved her when we first split.

He would stay on the weekend and we would stay in his one day through the week when he was working locally.
We never got round to moving back ‘home’

OP posts:
Tappering · 06/10/2020 18:53

Boot him out then. Tell him to pack his shit and bugger off to his own house.

category12 · 06/10/2020 18:54

Sooo, he's managed to feather his nest quite beautifully by having a mortgage-free home of his own you have no claim on, which he is making improvements on, which you will also have no claim on, while staying around at your council house.

Has he been paying a share of the bills at yours while he's flopping around your home, consuming electricity and food and behaving like an entitled grumpy shite?

Original poster
Teaandbisuits99 · 06/10/2020 20:11

No
He was buying food but not now he’s working away

OP posts:
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