Resentment- can you ever get over it?

[Rollercoasteride]

Morning,
After another row with DH this morning (both wfh)...I just wonder can you ever get past resentment and how do you move on?

The row kicked off because I was annoyed dh went to the pub last night and picked a car load of people up...we are in lock down from today. Me and DS are in the vulnerable group.

Yes I was annoyed with him, but it brought up the feelings of anger towards him whats happened in the past.

We have been through a lot, failed IVF, me having an accident (lost use of arm for a while), then losing my mum suddenly 18months ago.

During these times I felt unsupportive, in fact he said some really shitty things to me.

6 months after mum had passed, he said he didn't feel the same way, we said we try, but after today things are probably worse than ever.

I wonder if there any point? Sick of rows every month or so over same old things

I don't think so, no.

I left my DH after my mum's sudden death last year. His lack of support at the time I needed it most will always stay with me. At one point I was accused of having an affair as our sex life suffered. I was in the biggest black hole of grief.

In my case, it was the final straw after a few years of actually not really liking him or respecting him. We were probably both guilty of not trying anymore, and expected the relationship to just keep going.

I think it depends upon what you resent. I resent my partner's ex wife hugely. Resent is probably the wrong word actually. This woman has been in the background of our relationship for years. I have never met her nor do I want to.
His marriage to her was over long before I met him. They lived apart for years but still shared a bank account where he paid in and she drew out.
When she found out he had finally got a girlfriend she went crazy and told people lies about me in an effort to make him stop seeing me. I have never forgiven her for the way she behaved and never will.

Our relationship is fine until she calls or texts nor asks him to call her or asks him to pick up mail from a house he has not lived in for 15 years. Then the resentment kicks off big time.